Resolutions?

Hello to a new year. Did ya'll make any resolutions? I made one. Let it go. It was inspired by Cowboy Mouth and their song, Jenny Says.

I will be absolutely honest here. I have a serious issue with my temper and anger. For a really long time, I didn't care who I spewed my hate and anger to. It didn't matter to me. Over the past year, I've tried very hard to calm down, and think before I speak. I haven't mastered my anger, but I have gotten a lot better at keeping my temper in check.

Now, I'm trying to learn to let go of all the things that I let bother me. Bitter memories of things that could have went better. Embarrassing thoughts of retarded things I've done or said, and believe me, there have been some doozies.

That group, Cowboy Mouth, by the way, are pretty darn awesome. They are the first group I ever saw live. In the summer of 2004, right before Mike and I married, we went to the Schaeffer Eye Center Crawfish Boil in Birmingham. Oh. My. God.

For those of you who don't know, your girl here has a spaz attack when I'm in a crowd. It was craziness, and I loved every minute of it. That year, we saw Dexter Freebish, Cowboy Mouth, Better Than Ezra, and Sister Hazel. Dexter Freebish sucked. Cowboy Mouth give darn good shows. Better Than Ezra was ok. And Sister Hazel.... Le Sigh. I love them. It was magical, I tell you. To this day, I can remember leaning back into his arms and swaying along to Champagne High. It made me reminisce back to the days of being young and in love. So I went looking through my pictures to see what I had to share.

Look at how young we are! I can see the differences between now and then. It doesn't feel like almost seven years have past. They have flown by, and I love him more. He is definitely the yin to my yang. He keeps me steady, balanced, and supremely happy. Gee, I sure am sappy tonight, huh?

Anyway, what were your resolutions? Did you make any? Will you keep them?

Love to all,
Allie

So Many Words, So Little Time

Hi everyone. I am gonna be all over the place with this post. I am angry and I am sad, but I'll get to that in a little while. Right now, I want to tell you what I done went and did last week.

Now, ya'll know that my husband is a truck driver. You may or may not have known that he was leasing his own truck. That can have an upside and a downside. Sometimes, the money was good, but most of the time, it sucked. In the end, we were about $5,000 in the hole with his company. And then, last Wednesday, after I read the pay statement saying he was again $741.67 in the red, I called him and said enough. I'd had enough of him being gone for 6 weeks at a time and still not making money. I'd rather be poor and together, than alone and poor anyway. So, I told him to come home.

So... He did. He made his way to Atlanta, where I had to go pick him up. Oh My God. It was crazy. An ice storm hit while we were en route. We left Henagar at 3:00 pm on Wednesday, and got home at 5:15 am on Thursday. Within 30 miles, there were 14 wrecks that the minion and I counted. Then, at around the 290 mile marker on I75 South, we came to a halt. It took us 45 minutes to crawl a whole 3 miles. The reason? A Fed Ex truck with 53 ft trailer, flipped and was hanging over a bridge. On I75 North, traffic was backed up for 5 hours, because 2 tanker trucks collided and Hazmat was called in to clear it before traffic could go through.

I myself, lost control and slid. I was extremely lucky and was able to change lanes, and slow down before getting hurt or hurting someone else. Below is a video of the I75 North traffic jam. No, I didn't take the video. Connie was in the passenger seat.

Alright, moving on. Do you remember this hot mess?  Ok, this is what I'm angry about. Chris and I had made our peace. He had apologized for what happened. We were fine. Well, apparently, a year or so ago, he made a pass at Tabby, the other night shift girl. When my boss found out about him kissing me, she had him banned from the store. Now, it seems they want to press charges against him. That is a big negative. I refuse to do so. Like I said, he and I got straight. I'm so dang angry. I see no point for him to be banned. I see no point in filing charges. I definitely don't see a point in his job being threatened. (We have customers that have charge accounts for fuel. His company fuels at our store.) Alright, there is the anger off my chest.

I end this post with sadness. My favorite customer died. I didn't know him long, but he made an impact on my life. Elder Edward Mines was a good man. He taught me that you can still be young, no matter the age of the body. He showed me that you can be nice even when in pain. He showed me that you can be a Christian without proselytizing. He often told me that I worked too hard and that I was only sweet when sleeping. I hope he finds the home that he believed in. I hope that his passing was easy and that he didn't suffer. Rest in peace, sir. I'll think of you often.

Love to All,
Allie



Baby It's Cold Outside.

Baby, it's cold outside... Do you know that song? I am currently piled up in my bed, with the demon dogs, watching Eclipse. (Ok, so I'm technically watching it again and blogging. Bite me.) All I am going to say about the movie is this. Son, I am dissapoint. If you don't understand that, go to Internet Meme Database. Which is not to be confused with IMDB. I love both of those sites.

Speaking of things that I love.... some of you know that I am a huge movie person/nut/whatever. I try really hard to stay on top of movies and when they are coming out, so that way when Mike is home, we can go do something without actually having to do any research. Let me tell you, it is all about making his life easier.

I don't mean that in a sexist or bad way, it's just that.. When he gets home, he doesn't really want to make any decisions. He just wants to eat good food, relax with me and the demon dogs, and decompress.  And who can blame him? With a week like the recent one, he needs some downtime. In the last 3 days, his windshield has cracked all the way across due to extremely low temperatures, and a newbie backed his truck too close to Mike, ripping off the mirror and damaging paint. So, yeah, I'd say my honey deserves to relax.

Back to the movies. (Sorry ya'll. I tend to be random and ramble back and forth.) I've seen a few that are looking pretty good, according to previews anyway, so I'm going to post a link to the video with a brief description. All you have to do is click the link and it will take you straight to the website that plays it. (Website is IMDB. I trust it. That's all I can say about that.) I tend to like lots of action. Oh ha ha, smarties. I'll throw in a chick flick or two if I can find any that I want to back.

I want you to remember something. Movies are entertainment. They are not the be all, end all of the world. They are simply here to take us somewhere else, be it the future, the past, space, or somewhere not yet created in our minds. They are meant to make us laugh, cry, jump out of our skin in horror, and think. I hope you like my choices.

Cowboys and Aliens This one is for my dad. A strange mash-up of the two things he loves... Cowboys and aliens. It looks like it will be good. I know, I know. Alot of you are probably thinking... Uh, no. Give it a chance. Harrison Ford for the acting and Daniel Craig for the eye candy.

Battle: Los Angeles I'm kinda diggin the feel of this one. Marines vs Aliens in L.A. We always knew it would get hit first. Lots of action. Aaron Eckhart, Bridget Moynahan, Michelle Rodriguez, and Ne-Yo are the top names.

I Am Number Four Timothy Oliphant is the only name I know in this one so far. An extraordinary teenager is on the run from the government/his creators/bad guys? It doesn't really say, but again it looks interesting.

The Mechanic Mmmm. Jason Statham. That man is hotness defined. Gorgeous hazel eyes. Serious hard body. And of course, the accent. Drool. (Sorry Daddy.) He is an assassin, determined to take out the upper management who decided his mentor was no longer needed. The only catch? He has said mentor's son, played by Ben Foster, along for the ride. Yes. It promises to be exactly like his other movies. Lots of martial arts, lots of killing, and perhaps, if the movie gods decide to throw me a frickin bone, another striptease. (Sorry again, Daddy.)

Transformers: Dark of the Moon This is a teaser trailer, not much info, but some people might want to know about it.

Beastly Despite the name, this is actually a love story. It's a modern take on Beauty and the Beast. Only recognizable names are Vanessa Hudgens and Mary-Kate Olsen. (My husband loves to tell me there is a special place in Hades for me, between The Olsen Twins and Marilyn Manson. Me, myself, and I, would love to converse with Marilyn Manson.) And also, Alex Pettyfer, the male lead in this movie, also happens to be Number Four, from above. I didn't realize it until I was doing some research on this one.

Mars Needs Moms Animated movie. Title says it all, really. A little boy doesn't like the fact that his mother makes him eat his broccoli, do his homework, and is generally, a mom. He learns exactly how much he needs and loves her when Martians invade and take her away.

Tomorrow, When the War Began This movie actually came out on September 2, 2010. I'm including it because it looks like one of those that will make you think. I remember seeing the preview way back when and thinking... hmmm, this could be good. This is actually an Austrailian Indie flick. It just drew me in.

Anyway, that's all for now. I'm sure there are tons more out there, these just jumped out at me. Now, as for that video, that's me. Yeah, I know. Totally not what you expected, right? Oh well. Me and the demon dogs out in the snow for some fun. Enjoy.

Love to All,
Allie

Craziness at the Batcave.

Has it been a full moon all week long or something? It has been craziness at work lately. It seems like everytime I turn around, something is going on.

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na... Batman!

That is what I wore to work Sunday. For the record, I am a Dark Knight fanatic. I love Batman. Adam West might be the original, but Michael Keaton is my favorite. Christian Bale comes in at a close second, simply because the movies with him are darker, harder, and of course have better graphics.

Anyway, I got all kinds of reactions to it. My favorite was this one old lady. She was probably around 70 or so, 100 lbs soaking wet, and a puff of cotton for hair. As she was leaving, she strikes a pose and says, "To the Batmobile!" I about died. Oh my god. I thought I would never stop laughing. It was great.

Is there a Flirtaholics Anonymous? If there is, I need to go. "Hi, my name is Allie, and I'm a shameless flirt." I can't help it. It is just me. Mom says I get it from Daddy. She said that it was a bone of contention between them in the early years. According to her, he swore he was just being friendly. She admits that after awhile, she could see that he didn't really mean anything, it was just his nature to be friendly and engaging.

The reason for this, is, I was molested at work. I totally brought it on myself too. My husband agrees, and he actually thought it was pretty funny. Alright, so here goes....

There is this guy named Chris. He and I have flirted with each other ever since I started my job in late July. (Definition of flirt: chat up: talk or behave amorously, without serious intentions.) We are both happily married, so I've never thought, or wanted to think, that it was going anywhere. So anyway, he was back behind the Pepsi machine and called me over. I thought something was wrong with it from his tone of voice, so I came around the counter and closed the door. Big mistake.

Chris: You have to see this!
Me: What? I don't see anything? (My hands are kind of down by my side, palms out.)
Chris: This. He grabs my hand and puts it on the front of his jeans. (He's a bold one, huh?)
Me: Holy f**k. You can't do that!

I pull my hand away and start backing away from him. I know that I was blushing and jabbering, but I wasn't exactly coherent enough to remember what I was saying. He advances toward me with the biggest grin on his face. And then....? I smack into the door. Crap. He leans down and kisses me. (Alarms are going off in my head. All I can think is the F word.) I'm pushing against him, and reaching for the door knob. After what seems like an hour, I find it. I jerk the door open and fall backwards. I slam the door shut behind me, and race around to the counter.

"Dude! You can't do that! I'm married! You're married! There are CAMERAS!" I'm blushing and he is laughing. I remember all I could really say was dude, which comes out as doo. I don't know why, maybe my accent?

Anyway, he apologized, and promised not to let it happen again. I called Mom as soon as he left. I told her the whole thing and I could hear her voice shaking with laughter. I admit. It was funny. After the fact. He's been back in since, and while we still flirt, I know he wants more. And he knows that I stand firm, faithful to my husband.

Confession time. When I met my husband, I was dating 5 other guys besides him. If I'm lying, I'm dying. There was Kev, a man 17 years my senior, to the day. To this day, I will still remember the birthday we shared, and all that he taught me. The 2 Jasons, one of which I had tried desperately to have a relationship with, but it just wasn't right. Jeremy, the Paragod, with whom I had an extremely combustible and dangerous relationship. There was Matt, the sweet, naive church going, tied to his mama's apronstrings boy.

To be honest, there are tons more than that, I just don't remember most of their names.  For a very long time in my life, I used love and sex to fill a void in me. It's not that I was addicted to sex, I just craved the attention and affection. Mike is the only man I've ever been faithful to. He's the only one who's ever made me want to be faithful, to tie myself to.

I don't regret a single thing I've ever done. Everything I've done, has made me into the person I am today. I'm not going to say that I don't look back, because we all do. I think of some of the things that I have done, and sure, I wish that I'd handled them differently. Hindsight will always be 20/20.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't regret. If you've done something you wished you hadn't, don't keep reliving the past. Stop being ashamed or embarrassed. Let it go, and move on.

Love to All,
Allie

Wait. What?

My week has been kind of insane. Work has been hectic, home has been hectic, and I've had the flu, and those are some of the easiest things I've had to handle.

My former phone. RIP

My phone decided to commit suicide on Thursday. It was a doomed relationship from the start. I had a tendency to drop it. It had a severe attraction to water. I would lose it for hours on end, growing more frantic in my searchings until I finally found it in the bottomless pit...aka my purse.

I went on a 6 week trip with Mike during the months of June and July of this year. Right before we left, I had slipped the phone into my pocket and climbed down from the truck. There was a puddle of water 4 feet away. Somehow, the phone threw itself from my pocket into the puddle. I didnt even notice it. My husband said, "Uh babe, is that your phone?" Of course I panicked. I pulled it apart with a quickness and dried it out. I left it off for several hours. I used Mike's phone to text my mom and tell her why my phone was off before she called in the Army. (That is a whole nother blog post. I'll go there later.) It was saved.

At that time, I was a housewife. I didn't have any commitments and could just pick up and go where the truck took me. After I got back, I was extremely bored and to the point of cleaning the house for FUN. Something very wrong in that. Anyway, my mom, who works at the Sylvania store, was telling me about the Rainsville store, and how much trouble they were having keeping good help. I know this sounds wrong, but the only reason I applied there is because I felt bad that they couldn't keep good people, and I was bored. Yes, there is a reason to this whole back story. I'm getting there. Patience.

So anyway, a couple months after I started there, I was doing my job and cleaning the bathroom. Yeah, you know where this is going, don't you? I had stuck my phone in my shirt pocket, not really thinking. I had *just* finished cleaning the toilet and had bent over to pick up piece of trash that was in the floor. PLOP. Oh, fan-freaking-tastic. Thank you god, it was clean. Otherwise, well, I'd have flushed it. After I got it out, I cleaned it, then laid it out to dry while I finished the rest of my chores. I left it apart for the rest of the night, calling Mom from the store phone to let her know I was incommunicado for a little while. She really hates that, by the way. And again, it was saved.

The months wore on and my phone and I were inseperable. We went everywhere together, having the best conversations, sending humor out into our little piece of the world. Then one day, my phone started acting a little funny. It would give me the cold shoulder and freeze up in the middle of texting. It would power down in the middle of phone calls. The phone became jealous, keeping me for itself, cutting me off from the outside world.

I tried to coax it into sharing me again, but to no avail. The final straw came when I was on the phone with my dear husband, shopping in Wal-Mart. It turned itself off and refused to come back on.The little punk took all my cool ringtones and awesome pictures with it too. I walked right over to the electronics department, and picked out a new one. (Yes. I'm a Verizon prepay user. It saves money, thank you very much. And I'm a cheap hooker. Just ask my husband.)

Now let me say this. I loved my phone. I could send 5 texts within 60 seconds, easily. I knew just how to work the buttons to make it putty in my hands.

The New Hotness. Name that movie!

So this.. this is my new phone. I like it, but there are reservations. It is pissing me off-fa-fa. And that comedian is? (Sorry, but I'm in a feisty mood, and I quote movies almost as much as guys do.) It's nice, don't get me wrong, but there a few kinks to be worked out. For example, I was texting with my friend Jamie and also with my friend James. Now, maybe this is user error here, but several times, when I was replying to Jamie, I would be in the middle of typing and a text from James would pop up. I'd choose view later, and finish my text. When it sent, it would send to James. What the firetruck? I don't understand. And while the qwerty keyboard is nice, it's SLOW. I'm not as fast as I was with the other phone. I'm sure I'll get used to it, and yes, I am eventually happy. I'm just whining. I'll get over it, or get used to it, one.

Alright, so for some more awesome updates. I've lost a grand total of 39.2 pounds. And as for the blog, I've had 944 page hits since 09/26/10. And of those, I've had recurring visits from France, Russia, Brazil, Croatia, German, and the United Kingdom, as well as the aforementioned Denmark, Lebanon, Canada, and of course, the United States. I've also had referral from sites that I've never heard of. In the photo below, my website has the TOP SPOT. Sorry for the screaming, but that is just amazing to me.

I'm going to bed now, I've got tons of stuff to do before the holidays are seriously upon us.

Love to All,
Allie

Pride.

This is CJ. He's the cousin that went shopping with me on Black Friday. Yesterday, he turned 18. I don't have kids, so I don't know how Uncle Tim or Aunt Tish felt, but, for me, it's crazy. I remember him as a fat, happy baby. I've changed a few of his diapers, babysat him a ton, and abused his muscles in my yearly move.

Anyway, today, CJ got the best news of his life. (Yeah, he's young, but wait, it's awesome.) He was accepted to the University of Alabama. The letter was dated for yesterday, his birthday. He said that it was the best birthday present he'd ever been given. Really though, it wasn't given to him. He earned it. He's a straight A student, a hard worker. Yes, I know. I sang his praises in my last post. Bite me. I'm overflowing with pride at the moment.

Uncle Tim called me not moments after CJ sent the text out. I was the first person he called. The very first. Do you know how special that makes me feel? I could hear the pride and love in his voice as he talked to me about CJ. He could hardly talk for choking up. And if you've ever talked to my Uncle, you know that understanding what he says when he's choked up is no easy thing. I love the man, but he talkes 90 to nothing. He's got a Southern twang that won't quit. When my husband first met him, all he could really do was smile and nod. Afterwards, he was like, "What was he saying?!" He, like everyone, has gotten used to it. They call each other pretty much daily while they're out on the road.

I don't know what yall's family is like, but mine are texting fools. We text, forward, joke with each other all day long. I got a forward asking this. Before the end of 2010, you and I should _____? So I answered back to that person, then sent it out. What did I get back from CJ? Go shopping again! I'm telling you ladies, a catch.

That's all I've got for now. I'm in the midst of changing over to a different phone. My old phone decided to commit suicide, and that just sucks. I'll tell you more about it later.

I love you CJ! I'm so very proud of who you are, and I know you will be epic greatness. Congratulations!

Love to all,
Allie

Depression and Black Friday.

Depression sucks. Majorly. I hate when I'm depressed. I know what is going on with me, but I still withdraw to the point of little interaction with human beings and only go out when I'm forced to. I don't understand why I get depressed. I know what causes it, I guess, but it still doesn't make it any easier to handle.

I miss my husband. I wish I was on the road with him now. I miss waking up beside him. I miss him being here. Hell, even the dogs miss him. (I say the word Daddy and they go off to the door, looking for him.)

Mike came home for Thanksgiving. He was in for 3 wonderful days. We had dinner at my Dad's house on Wednesday, because I had to work on Thursday. (No, I'm not complaining. It was time & 1/2. Can you blame me?) Mike went over to my Uncle Tim's house for dinner that day. When he picked me up, he had my cousin CJ with him. He's all happy... "Your Aunt Tish had brussel sprouts!" (A veggie that he and I both love.)

Anyway, we'd decided to go to the midnight sale at Wal-Mart. I had never been to one previously, and figured, why not? That's why we had CJ. To give a little background on CJ, he's days away from being 18. He's 6'7 and 235? lbs. He is the spitting image of his father. He is the most polite teenager I have ever met. Every time he sees me, he gives me a spine-cracking hug. He's one of the best people I know, really.

So, Mike is over by the video games with orders to pick up some that CJ would like, and to grab a griddle that is also on sale for Aunt Tish. (That was purely CJ's idea, btw.) CJ was with me stuck smack dab in the middle of panty and bra land because that is where they stuck the $20/500 threadcount sheets. Allie want!

So, CJ and I stroll up to the rack of sheets to check things out and it is already surrounded by some rude, older ladies, and a couple of girls my age. The older ladies took one look at CJ and automatically went on the offence. Going on and on about this is the Auburn side of the rack, you won't get any sheets, blah, blah, blah. Talking serious smack. CJ, being polite, said, "No, ma'am. We're Alabama fans." and proceeds to show her is Alabama tattoo. (Which I totally adore.) She laughs and says, "I bet if we cut him, he'd bleed crimson."  And, I love CJ for this, cause he's got the sarcasm that our family has perfected. He quips, "Ma'am, we ALL bleed crimson." Just smiling, waiting for her to get it. Greatness. That boy has it.

Things rock on, and another lady, probably in her mid to late 60's walks up and looks at the crowd and says, "Well, I doubt I get any sheets." She, another girl, CJ, and I get into a conversation about what sheets we want. I want a king size set, she needs 2 full size sets, and the other girl(Tuscaloosa girl) wants 2 queen size sets. The whole time, the old biddies up front are still talking smack and trying to covertly open the rack. Seriously?!

The associate walks up and makes them back up so she can take off the plastic wrap. And then.... it is GAME ON! CJ, with a quickness, hands me the one I want, goes back for the 2 the older lady wants, and then, hands me a queen size set. We back away from the crowd so we can see who has what. The old lady thanked us and left. I see Tuscaloosa girl (So named because that's where she lives.) and ask her if she got what she wanted.

She sighed and said, "No, I needed another queen size set." I hand her the one that CJ handed me and said, "Merry Christmas!" She smiled and hugged us both.

We were calling Mike trying to find out where he was while also trying to find the griddles. As we got closer to where they should be, We saw 2 ladies walking by, buggies piled high with griddles and crockpots. By the time we got there, the pallet was empty. I joked to CJ that he should've just ganked (thugged, thieved, stolen) one from the other ladies. He said, "Nope. If I can't get it the right way, I won't get it. Maybe I can find a decent one for Mama anyway." (I am telling ya'll, that is one good kid. Ladies, once he's out of college, he's going to be a catch. He's going for Civil Engineering. Smart, good looking, polite. Alabama fan. Some girl will be happy one of these days. :P)

After an hour, we locate Mike. Not only does he have a couple of games for CJ, he also snagged the last griddle. CJ just smiled. We paid for our things and headed for the Huddle House. Mmmm. Strawberry French Toast. Drool.

Anyway. That's the end of it. I'm sorry I've not been around for a couple of weeks. I pull into myself and don't really know how to get out of it. I'm going to try harder to be better at this. I love you all and thank you for the support.

Love to All,
Allie

Hiding Out.

I've been laying low for awhile. I usually try to post every other day or so, but there's been alot going on. I worked 33 hours in 3 days, which I'm totally cool with. I just feel so drained. For the last two days, I've laid low, piled up in my bed catching up on the tv shows I've been queuing on Hulu.

I love that website. Since I work nights, I'm not always able to catch the shows I'm addicted to. I have lots of addictions. Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, Blue Bloods, Family Guy, the list goes on. Usually when I come home from work, I eat dinner, I play with the dogs, then I pass out. So... on my first day off, I start laundry then I grab my laptop and vegetate.

Do other grown people do this? I mean, seriously? Know what I did last night? I picked up a pizza and a six pack of Bud Light. (Wait. Are you shocked? Yes. I drink.)

I've had alot on my mind lately. Remember I was worried about my Grandma? Well, I talked with her about a week or so ago. She and I had a conversation with her doctor, and he took her very seriously. He scheduled several tests, including a MRI. Thankfully, it came back good. He also scheduled a test to check for Carotid Artery Stenosis which can cause a stroke, which can cause memory loss. It shows she has some blockage. So.. good news and bad news.

Remember my Minion? She was rushed to the hospital today. Why? Because she is completely irresponsible with herself. She is diabetic, but she refuses to take care of herself. She won't eat healthy. She will not take her insulin shots like she needs to. For example, today. She came home from school early because she wasn't feeling well. Her sugar was so high, it wouldn't register on the EMT's glucose monitor. How did that happen you wonder? Let's see. The most likely culprit? The canister of chocolate frosting in her book bag. When the ambulance finally got there, she had already started turning purple and was losing sight. When they got to the hospital and checked her glucose it was over 1200. TWELVE HUNDRED! I'm so mad right now. I'm torn between banging my head against a brick wall and taking a belt to her butt. Yes, I know. Violence never solves anything.

Anyway, I'm tired, I'm frustrated, and I'm worried. I'm going to sleep and hopefully in the morning I'll wake up and I'll find out I won the lottery. Wait. I don't play the lottery. Dang. Oh well. Night All

Love to all,
Allie

Darkness

My mother, during our conversation.

Alright. So what I'm going to be talking about is domestic violence. How it starts, escalates, and how it ultimately ends. I originally started working on this project because of someone who lost her daughter to domestic violence. At this moment, that is put on the back burner. She's just not ready to talk, and I completely understand. So that leaves me with all this work, and nothing to run with. Or does it?

A lot of people sweep this issue under the rug. It doesn't happen because they aren't personally involved. Maybe it does happen to them, but they are too scared, or don't know how to speak up. Some block it out because they don't want to remember it.

Well, this blog is about me, so... I guess this is where I step up to the plate. I grew up in a domestic violence situation. In my mother's own words, they were volatile. I remember hurtful words, broken dishes, busted walls, and shattered windshields. I will say this for my parents, they never hit each other in front of us. It was mostly a verbal thing.

So, I went shopping. I bought a voice recorder. And then... I sat down with Mama, Daddy, and my brother B individually, and recorded our conversations. It dang near killed me. It was so emotionally charged. It was so hard to hear things from Mama about Daddy, and to hear things from Dad about Mom. It was pretty easy to talk to B. He's like me, he remembered the screaming, harsh words, and shattered windshields. Like me, he also remembers that they never hit each other in front of us.

Let me just pause here to clarify my relationships with my family. Mama is my very best friend. She has been since my first breath. I've always been my Daddy's girl. I've had conversations with them that most people don't have with their parents. I know things about their relationship and them that very few do.

I started out with Mama. The first question I asked her was, "How did you meet Dad?" She told me about the fact that she and Dad's sister Pat were best friends, and they had met through her. "How did he ask you to marry him?" She couldn't quite remember the wording, but, she remembers it went to the effect of, "I love you, and I want to marry you and the kid." (My brother B, is technically my half brother. He was born in December of 1978 and my parents were married in February of 1979.)

"Who threw the first punch?" That was one of the hardest questions to ask. We talked about how often they fought. It wasn't a daily thing. It wasn't an all the time thing. Their verbal altercations didn't always turn physical. I remember one point in the conversation, Mama told me, "Your Daddy is not a monster." At that moment, I couldn't agree with her.

How can you sit there and tell me that someone who had locked her in the closet, left bruises on her, and shattered a baby's glass bottle against the wall, is not a monster? I asked her that question. She said, "We were monsters together. We were toxic to each other. Twisted and wrong. I antagonized him so much. I couldn't let him walk away." And that made me look at her in a whole new light.

I walked away from that conversation shaken and sick. Hearing those words about my father... it didn't break me, but it hurt. I had a hard time sleeping last night.

I talked to Daddy today. I had to. If I was going to do this right, I had to include his thoughts and memories. I sat him down and told him that I was planning a piece on domestic violence, and that it was going to be about our family. Dad was a little defensive to start with. I think he was afraid that I put the blame solely on him. After I explained that Mama accepted her share of the blame, that she admitted to antagonizing him, he opened up more.

He admitted to locking Mama in a closet. I'm not telling the story that led up to it, but the gist is, they were fighting, and he was trying to walk away, but she wouldn't let him. He was extremely upset. She stayed in his face, so he put her in the closet. "I couldn't make her leave me alone, so I put her in the closet. I sat down against the door so she couldn't get out, and I cried. I cried because of what she'd done to me." I'm not condoning what he did, and there is absolutely no excuse for hurting someone else, but after hearing what he said, I understand.

I closed the conversations by asking them, "What is your favorite memory from being married to each other?" Strangely enough, both of their memories revolve around me.

Dad's favorite memory was when B was standing up in his crib and was looking at the corner of the ceiling and said, "You're not gonna take my Daddy from me." About a month later, they found out Mama was pregnant with me.

Mama's favorite memory is when she was delivering me, Dad was standing by her side. The doctor looked up and said, "There's the head." Dad looked up and said, "What is it?" Mom says the doctor kinda smirked and said, "It's a head, I'm not sure yet." When I was finally out, the doctor looked up and said, "It's a girl." Mom said that Daddy got this look of wonder on his face and was jumping up and down and yelling, "We did it! We had a girl!"

My parents divorced in 1994. Mom remarried 3 months later to a man named Greg. Along with him, I got my awesome stepbrother D and my best girl Mamy. Greg died in 1996 in a motorcycle accident. Dad remarried in 1999 to a woman named Jeanne. They divorced not even 2 years later due to the fact that they were total opposites. Mom remarried again in2006 to Mike. (We have 18 million Mike's in my family. It's tons of fun during the holidays.) I got 2 more step siblings that are pretty good. Daddy remarried in April of last year to a lady named Rita. And now, 2 more steps. All in all, I have 4 brothers, and 3 sisters. To me, half and step don't really count. Family is all that matters.

Some days I wish my parents were still together. I know that will never happen. That saying... You can't go home, I think it pertains to this. Wanting to be a child again, being tucked in by your parents, kissed and loved, knowing the monsters aren't under the bed. They are happy. They are at least cordial, if not down right friendly at family functions that bring them together.

And now... me. I am emotionally drained. As I wrote this post, I listened to the conversations I had with Mama, Dad, and B over and over again. In some ways, I wish I could figure out how to post them on here, but then again, I'm afraid some people would hear them and think horrible things about my parents.

They were young, kids really, when they got married. They were learning together, how to be the grown ups. There were several stressors in their life. Two children at an early age, very little money, and not really sure what they were doing. They've grown into wonderful people. My mother is my role model, along with my dad. I look at them and see the strongest people in the world. I love them, and I am extremely grateful to them.

Domestic violence isn't something that can be swept under the rug. It will not go away if you ignore it. Mom & Dad were both lucky that it never turned deadly, because it can. This isn't the last I'll be talking about this.

If you or someone you know is in a violent situation, please, please, please. Get help. It is hard to walk away from all you've ever known, but you can. 1-800-799-SAFE(7233) or http://www.thehotline.org/

You may be asking... Allie, why are you posting your details? Well, if all the gory details that come out save 1 life, it's worth it. If one person reads this and gets out, it doesn't matter what I go through.

Love to all,
Allie

Departure From The Light.

Funny. That is the word I hear most often when talking about my blog. Several people were shocked to see that I'm so funny. I hear that all the time. I'm cool with that. I try very hard to keep my blog easy going, family friendly, funny, and light.

Well, I'm about to step into the darkness that is reality. This will be completely out of my comfort zone. My next few posts won't make you laugh as hard as you usually do. Instead, I hope they make you think. I want you to question yourself, your family, your friends, and your relationships.

I'm hoping that the posts will still be family friendly. After all, everyone needs to be in the know about what I'll be talking about. Yes. I am purposefully withholding the topic. Why? Well, cause I can. They will all be about the same issue, just different view points. So... I'm trying to get it all laid out in my head.

I'm off the next couple of days and they will be devoted to this blog and writing in general. Good night everyone.

Love to All,
Allie

Goblins and Ghouls

I know, I know. It's a little late, right? Well, all I can say is I'm sorry. Things have been a bit hectic lately, but really... Would life be any fun any other way? No. No it wouldn't. So, without further ado, photos from Halloween 2010. Warning: Cuteness may overload your brain.

I dub this Mace to the Face. No seriously, I'm not macing her. She's pregnant thankyouverymuch. It's just glitter.



This makes me think of Angels Among Us by Alabama. I have no clue why.




Alfalfa and a Punk Rocker. Isn't Alfalfa just so cute in his seriousness? Love it.





Baby Butterfly





Bat Girl. I have the Batman theme stuck in my head now.







Hard to call him Batman. More like Batbaby.




Birdman and The Good Witch. Not really, but she's a sweet person and I just can't call her a witch. By the way, that's Hot Guy That Smells Good. His name is Pete I found out.



My nephews. M is the tall one. S is the short one. They are both creeptastic.



So far, the only clown I can stand. (By the way - huge fear of clowns. I has it.) The cuteness is getting to me.



A cute witch.



Death and the Devil? Devil and her minion? All I know for sure is, girlie has the expression down.



Awwww! It's a baby Ewok. He better hide cause....



Darth Vader is here! Along with Jason. Check the princess in the back. She's like "Gimme my candy already. Dang!"



Jason was popular. He kept showing up. Creeped me out too. Can you hear the music?



My moms' friend Sherrys' grandkids. Why yes. I was raised in the South. What tipped you off?



Lady Gaga stopped by. I totally took this pic by accident. I'd taken one and Ryan was posing so I totally had to get this.



Preteen Mario. I said, "I'm sorry, Mario, but your Princess is in another castle." Kid comes back with, "Aw man. Can I at least have candy?" Yeah. He got extra candy. Such a sweet boy.



Luigi and The Princess came in not minutes later. When I informed them that they had just missed Mario, their faces lit up. I love the innocence of kids.



Monkey See, Monkey Do.





Mortal



Kombat



What do a pirate, a princess, and a creepy guy from Scream have in common? I'm not sure. You tell me.



A hippie, a happy Frakenstein, and... I'm not sure. A soldier from Halo, maybe? I don't care, but I love the look on his face. It's kinda half amused, half exasperated. Very good manners, though.

My sister Mames, holding Spiderson JonJon and my sister in law Jen, holding my niece Bacon the Witch.





Nemesis





Tinkerbell and the Punk Pirate. Check the hot pink skull n bones.



Fairy Princess



Killing me with the cuteness. Such a sweet baby puppy.



Purple Princess. I love her facial expression.



A much prettier Queen of Hearts than Helena Bonham Carter.



All I can hear is... "Rawr, I'm a lion!"



Roll Tide Baby! I love his face. Just so sweet.



Scooby Dooby Doo. Where are you? I loved that cartoon as a kid. Who am I kidding? I still love it.

Scream. Louder. Nope. Still can't hear you.

Snoopy.

Soldier Boy

Super Baby

Thomas the Train

Wild Witchy West

My Unc was a zombie. His grandson was.. a ninja? (Unc is short for uncle. I've called him that forevah.)




Alright. I hope your brain didn't explode from the cuteness. I hope you didn't have a heart attack from the scariness. I'm going to bed now. Night everyone.

Love to all,

Allie

Slight Delay.

Hi everyone. My magic 8 ball was wrong. I'm not going to post the recipe today. Why? Well, I didn't have time to before work because I was trying to find a dentist that is open on Friday so my husband can go get a tooth pulled. Bless his heart, he comes in and has to go straight to the dental chair. Major suckage.

Have you noticed my penchant for making up words? Suckage. Spaztastic. Another example, instead of using the F word, I use truck instead. As in - back the truck up. I'm not kidding. Quick joke. What word beings with the letter f and ends with uck? Hey. I just told you I don't use that word. Acceptable answers are firetruck and fastduck. Thank you, I'll be here all week.

I've been mulling over the advice from Anonymous to try to get into professional writing, and I've decided to give it a whirl. A friend told me earlier today that I needed to pick someone or something local to write about and they would help me get it printed. Yeah. I'm scared spitless. I was at work when he told me that. I was thinking about it there and a woman walked in and I decided it was her that I needed to talk to. I'm not giving anymore details because if it falls through, then I'll have gotten my & your hopes up for nothing. I'm really excited about this, so I'm gonna play it close to the vest for a bit.

Alright. Time for more exciting news. I've lost 37 lbs. Yay me! Since September 26, I've had 513 page hits, with 1 from Lebanon, 2 from Canada, and 3 from Denmark. All I can say is... Holy wow, Batman. I've got the biggest grin on my face.

Well, it's time to go to sleep. I've got to get up early again so I can take my Granny to the Dr's office. If there's anything you'd like to ask, leave it in the comments. To my overseas readers, welcome. And to Anonymous, thanks for the support. Do I know you? If not, how did you hear about my blog? I'm just so curious. Anyway. Good night.

Love to all,
Allie

Blogs and Religion.

I read. Alot. Not just books. Magazines. Forums online. And blogs. Several blogs. At the moment, I'm following 5 blogs religiously.

One of my favorite blogs is by Ree Drummond. You may know her better as The Pioneer Woman. I don't know her, but I love her. She's fantastically funny, an amazing cook and as far as I can tell, she seems to be a wonderful person. She's one of the reasons I finally sucked it up and started my own blog. She owns who she is, what she's about, and her flaws.

Another is Our Best Bites. This site is ran by Sara and Kate. They have some seriously insane recipes there. It is a temptation that a fat girl like myself does not need. They are very down to earth and easy to relate to. Apparently, all bloggers are clumsy in the kitchen.

Then there is The Other Ryan. I learned about him through The Pioneer Woman. Dude has skills. I'm talking serious culinary skills. And some amazing tats and piercings. And he's hawt. Yeah, I know. That seems wrong on so many levels, calling a pastor hawt. Oh wait. I didn't tell you he's a pastor? Why yes. Yes he is. Amazing right? The only pastors/preachers I've had contact with were all very old. And strict. And not very accepting of individuality. (I know this is tripping my dad out right now. That his daughter follows a religious blog... well, religiously.)

That leads me to the topic of religion. Maybe it's because it is Sunday. Maybe because most of the bloggers I follow are religious in some way and they've posted something religious lately. Whatever it is, today I feel... spiritual. I have a hard time defining my religion. I was raised Southern Baptist. Mike was raised Catholic. (Insert funny priest/alter boy joke here.) I never really agreed with Southern Baptist. Or Christianity really. Or maybe it's the Bible.

I just find it hard to belive that God doesn't agree with things He created. There are so many things you can't do, according to the Bible.

A few I agree with. Some, not so much. Honor your mother and father? I get that. Mom had you. They both fed you, clothed you, and took care of you. (Hopefully, anyway. If your parents weren't Teh Awesome like mine, I'm sorry.) No stealing? I get that too. If you didn't earn it, don't touch it. No killing? Yup, I'm totally down with that one.

Somethings I don't agree with. You shall have no other gods before me. Hmmm. I'm not so cool with this one actually. My personal opinion is that everyone has the right to choose the right religion for themselves.

Or what about this one? "Observe the sabbath day and keep it holy, as the LORD your God commanded you. Six days you shall labor and do all your work. But the seventh day is a sabbath to the LORD your God; you shall not do any work—you, or your son or your daughter, or your male or female slave, or your ox or your donkey, or any of your livestock, or the resident alien in your towns, so that your male and female slave may rest as well as you. Remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt, and the LORD your God brought you out from there with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm; therefore the LORD your God commanded you to keep the sabbath day." How do we pick which day is holy? How do we know it should be Sunday? And what is up with the slave thing? Weren't all people created equal in the eyes of God? Why didn't he say way back then - "Hey! Knock that off! You don't own that person."? We wouldn't have half the drama we do today about slavery.

And this is one that really throws me. "Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable." Why? God created homosexuals. According to the Bible, God created everything. So why did he create it, if He didn't want it?

I know that several people will tell me, don't question God. Well too bad. I question Him because of the flawed world He created. Kids that die young? Cancer? Pedophiles? Bigots? Why create these things? They aren't necessary. These evil things are not from Satan. God created them. He also created Satan. Again, if He didn't want these things in this world, why create them?

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. This is in the Bible. Why does God not hold himself accountable to this as well?

I know I'm going to get flamed for this, but, this is what's on my mind. All I ask for is respect. These are my beliefs. I'm not saying there is a God, or there is not a God. I won't know that until I'm dead or Jesus really does come back.

Please. Whatever your belief is, be tolerant and respectful of others beliefs.

Love to all
Allie

Work = Blog.

I'm so tired. Isn't that sad? I went in at 11:30 this morning then closed up at 9:30 tonight. In between being slammed and cleaning up, I decided I needed to blog about work. After all, it is part of my life. This post is going to be a bit random. Back and forth but hey, that's me.

Let me start out by saying this... I love my job. Really, I do. I meet new people every day and have several customers that are my favorites. Yes, I admit it. I have favorites.

 Ryan, of course. There is an older gentleman, he reminds me of my Papa Bill. All he wants is a Copenhagen snuff. And then he tells me I'm only sweet when I'm asleep. There's a guy Mom & I both know. We refer to him as Hot Guy. He's entirely too good looking, very sweet, and smells incredibly yummy. There's the lesbian. She flirts shamelessly, even though she knows I am married. Then my junkie. He calls me his dealer. He comes in daily, I believe, to buy at least 1 of the 32 oz. Rockstar energy drinks. (Yuck. For the record, I've not met an energy drink I like.) He's pretty funny. He came in today and told me he was working his way through my blog. He says it's funny. I've heard that a time or two, but I still don't believe it.

Kids. I have a love/hate relationship with them. Most of the time, kids are sweet, cute, and funny. When do I not like them? When their parents aren't making them behaving. Or when they go in the bathroom alone. That scares me. No, I don't want them to make a mess, but I also don't want them to accidentally lock themselves in. Also, when parents send their small children in to pay for gas, I worry because people speed through the parking lot.

Teenagers. Again with the love/hate thing. Sometimes they are funny. Sometimes they are rude. And sometimes they are sweet. I saw a couple standing on the sidewalk sneaking kisses. I'm not sure why they were sneaking kisses, but it was so sweet.

Teenagers lead me to underage tobacco buyers. I don't know how many times I've actually had them show me their id's and knowingly be underage. They kill me. Thinking that a sure smile and confident attitude will get what they want.

And that brings us to... alcohol. How many times have I heard, "No beer? What the?!" Yes, I know, hard to believe, but it's the truth. I hear it like this too. "No  cerveza? Por que?" And yeah, it may be mean, but I just stare blankly at them. (Again, yes, it is mean, but I think if you live here, you should speak the language. That's my opinion.)

Men. Generally speaking, most of them are pretty cool. There are some weird ones. Some rude ones. And some extremely perverted ones. Another of my opinions? Man hands should be rough and calloused. Not all soft and manicured. My favorite guys, (other than the ones listed above, I mean.) are the police officers.

Police officers are so much fun to mess around with. I was on the phone with Mike one day and Patrolman Wigley came in. I said, "Honey, I've gotta go. They're here to arrest me." Mike is all spazzing out and I hang up on him. The officer is shaking with laughter, and Mike calls back. I give Wigley the phone and he answers. "Hello? No, sorry. She's in handcuffs right now." I'm not sure exactly how he pulled that off, because he was trying the entire time not to bust out laughing. Ah, I love to prank my husband. I'm always thinking of something to pull over on him.

I think I'm the equivialent of a bartender. You know how everyone tells their bartender their troubles? I hear everything. Health problems. Their take on religion and politics, which I don't discuss at work. Does anyone out their like Baja Blast Mountain Dew? Supposedly if you mix regular Mountain Dew and Sierra Mist, that's what you get. Someone let me know.

Anyway, I'm bout to pass out. Really quick though, M got his orange belt! Way to go Monkeybutt!

I think he has Auntie A's problem with blinking at the most inoppurtune times.

Love to all,
Allie

What I Done Went and Did Yesterday.

So yesterday. It started out on the right track. I got up, got ready and took my husband to his truck. Sent him out with a kiss and held back the tears until he was gone. You don't cry, cause it just makes it harder on him. It's hard enough for him to let go as it is. If I cry, he'll cry and hold me a little longer cause that's how he is.

After I dropped him off, Mom and I went to pick up my sister-in-law C and take her and the boys to Centre. M was testing for his orange belt in Tae Kwon Do.

This is M breaking his board. He's the 3rd from the back. His teacher, Mr. Mendoza is holding the board. I'm not sure who the first boy is, but the one who didn't break it is also from M's class. I was so worried about him breaking it because you only get 3 tries and you lose points for each extra try you use. As you see, I worried for nothing. He broke his board on the 1st try. It was such a loud snap. I was so proud. Mr. Mendoza came and took over Austin's board. You can hear me cheering for him towards the end. It isn't about one being better than the other. Sure, my nephew is my first priority, but I want them all to pass. He broke it on his last try. Yay, Austin!

He's so smug.

Look at how thick that was.

After that, I was supposed to go spend the weekend at a friends' house, but she got sick, so... I was stuck at home. Or was I? My friend Ryan had invited me to go to Buenavista in Scottsboro with him to listen to his friend, Austin Jennings, play live. So I called him up to see if I was still invited. I was, and he was ecstatic? I believe that is the right word.

We had so much fun last night. I had 2 margaritas. Ryan had 1, half a beer, and a "sup" as he called it, of vodka and redbull. Add in really yummy food and the hilarity of Ryan doing his youtube posts throughout the evening and you can understand how I feel so lucky to have him in my life. That was his first taste of alcohol by the way. Minion # 2?

So anyway, in my tipsy state, I allowed Ryan to video and post me singing along to The Way You Are by Bruno Mars. I love that song. Mike will call and sing it to me sometimes. I was singing that to Ryan last night because he sang Come On Get Higher by Matt Nathanson to me. That video is also on youtube. I'm only linking the one of me singing. A Gay At The Bar Part 4 Yes. The series was called A Gay At The Bar. There are 8 parts in all.

No. I am not drunk. I blinked. I swear.

We all made it safely home and to our respective beds. I was worried last night. What was I thinking, singing on camera and then putting it on youtube? I thought I'd look like an idiot. Well that may be true, but... I look like an idiot who had an absolute blast with her best friend. In the morning light, with absolutely no hangover, I might mention...I don't regret a thing I did. As a matter of fact, we've made plans to do it again the next weekend I'm off and Austin is playing. Or someone else we want to hear. Austin is really good by the way. He did a cover of Beyonce's Sweet Dreams. After I got over the initial shock, it was pretty good.

Alright. I'm gonna go. I have dishes to do and laundry to finish. Back to my normal everyday routine. For now.

Love to All,
Allie.