Thursday, June 16, 2011

Hey Ya'll.

Hi everyone. First, let me say how much I've missed blogging. Things have been so stupid crazy lately. And I know that's not an excuse, but still.... That's why I blog, right? Is so I can tell everyone everything going on with me... right? Right.

So, just a couple updates and an announcement. No. It's not that announcement, but, Mike & I have been working on it.

Announcement....... I'm officially a college student again. What in the world am I thinking? I've enrolled for the Fall Semester, and I'm actually taking my placement test at 1:00 pm today. I've already been approved for a Pell Grant so... Now I just have to figure out exactly what I want to be when I grow up. Any ideas?

Updates: Granny is in a rehabilitation facility in Scottsboro, so either Mom or I go see her everyday. Mike & I try to go at least twice a week together. She is his fishing buddy, and let me tell you, they are both anxious to get back to that.

Also, word has it that RTI, where Mike works, will be going back to 5 days/week in August. Yay! Most likely they'll end up on 6 or 7 day/weeks. I hope. We could seriously use some extra money.

And I know, I know, I know it was the end of May when this happened, but... Congratulations to Christian Jacob Young & Connie Shoan Tillman! They are graduates of Pisgah High School.

I'm so very proud of them both, but even more so of Connie. Don't get me wrong, CJ did an amazing job with himself... Full scholarship to Alabama and he ranked #12 in his class. But Connie, well Connie did an amazing job overcoming her adversities. She's doing so much better taking care of herself, and she's growing up. I screamed and clapped for both of them, but well, I only cried when it was Connie walking across the stage. I did have tears in my eyes for CJ, though. I'm a woman, what can I say?

Like I said, I love them both equally. I've changed both of their diapers, and babysat them. Connie was the first girl in my family (mother's side) to actually graduate high school.

So anyway, CJ & Connie... I love ya'll. I'm so, so, so very proud of ya'll. My only advice is this.

Remember who you are. Listen to your head, because you're heart is too emotional. Follow your heart anyway. Don't be what everyone else expects of you. Be yourself, and never for one second doubt that no matter how many times you screw up, how big the mistake is, and no matter how scared you are, your family loves you, and you can always count on us for support. Always. I personally, will be there for you, just call me.





Love to All,
Allie

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Sitting Here.

Right now, at this moment, I'm sitting in a hospital room watching my Granny sleep. On Friday, Mom and I had just gotten back from getting groceries. We had most of of the put away when my cousin, Cody, called and said to come up there asap.

Mom was freaked, of course. When it comes to her Mama or her kids...or her grandkids... OK, all her family. And her friends. She's gonna read this and give me a hard time. I don't panic. I can hear her now.

Anyway, Granny had fallen and was in alot of pain. She didn't want to go to the hospital and I told Cody to call the ambulance anyway.. but no, he wouldn't until she said so. It didn't take me long to convince her after I had checked her over. I just knew she had a broken hip. He finally called, and I sat there with her, holding her hand and talking to her.

When we got to the emergency room, she sat in a bed in the hall for close to three hours before she was finally moved into an exam room. It was another 2 hours before the doctor saw her, and another 4 hours before she was admitted. Yes, they were that busy. Mama and I stayed until the had her in a room and settled in before we went back home. I crawled into bed a little before 3:00 am.

We were back the next day for her surgery. She had to have her ball joint replaced. She was taken for surgery around 6:00 pm, and we were shown to the surgery waiting room. At around 6:30 pm, Dr, Hamidian came in to let us know that surgery had to be put on hold for around 2 hours. Why? Well, there was a hair over the scalpels and stuff. They didn't know if it was there when it was sterilized or if it had happened afterwards, but either way, they weren't taking any chances. They send their stuff out to be sterilized, so we had to wait 2 hours for it to get done.

So... We sat there and waited. Mama, her husband Mike, my husband Mike, Aunt Sis, Aunt Rita, Unc, and his wife, Christine. Oh, and me. We all sat there talking, eating dinner, and waiting. My Mike and I caught heck because we had our laptops there playing games, or just goofing on the Internet.

There's a little black phone in the waiting room. They call from the operating room to let you know when they start. After that, there's an hourly update. Once surgery had started, we got two updates, and then about 30 minutes after that, Dr. Hamidian was back, letting us know that she came through great and was in recovery.

Mike and I left shortly after that because we knew she had lots of people to give her loves, and that the sooner everyone cleared out, the sooner she could rest. We've been here about two hours now. She wakes up off and on, talking. Sometimes it's coherent, other times, I feel like we're trespassing in her dreams.

Granny, Mama, and I have a unique bond. We are all twenty years apart. Granny was born in August of 1941, Mama in June of 1962, and me in November of 1981. This year, Granny will turn 70, then I'll turn 30, then Mama will turn 50..... eventually. I can see Granny in me sometimes, and I can see her in my mother. We're all stubborn, intelligent, and amazing.

Fun fact before I go... When my grandmother was a teenager, she was a belly dancer and a snake charmer at the fair. Seriously.

Where every you are, I hope you can look at your Granny, or your Mama, and thank your lucky stars they are in your life. I can't imagine one day without either of mine.

Love to all,
Allie

Monday, May 16, 2011

New Toy

I got a new toy yesterday.

 I say toy... but it isn't really. I finally decided I will be going back to school this fall, and I desperately needed a new computer. Seriously, my computer is 5 years old. I got the new one for a steal, because I'm cheap and won't buy anything unless it's on sale. So.. I brought it home, plugged it in, and fell in love. This thing is so much faster than my old laptop. And it's red. My favorite color is blue, but red is a close second. Probably because I'm a red-head and partial to red. ( Are blonde's partial to yellow? Or brunette's to brown? Just wondering.

Anyway, I'm hoping to post more often than I have been. There is a reason I've been incommunicado... My old laptop had to be reformatted... and I couldn't get online with it because someone... who I will not name, changed the wepkey for the router. Strangely enough, Mike's tiny little net book could get online with the old password, but I couldn't. Net books are cute and all, but I seriously can't handle it for posting. My new one, though, well.. it has an actual number pad. Yeah, I know, I'm strange, but it's the little things like that that make me proud.

Anyway, I'm off to move files from old to new. It's cold and I don't want to do anything besides pile up, watch cartoons, and continue my love affair.

Love to all,
Allie

Friday, May 6, 2011

Hold On, I'm Coming.

God only knows how people are gonna take that one. Everybody is talking about what happened on 04/27/2011. On that day, our lives changed. We'd been paying attention to the weather since about 6:30 that morning. After one tornado went through the Pisgah area, it cleared up. Damn, but that was deceptive.

Mike and I were at Mom's house later that evening. Our dogs were at our house, because it had started raining again. We were watching the news, trying to keep an eye on everything that was coming in, then the power went out. So there we were, in a dark house, trying to find batteries for the weather radio. We finally found them, and then.. we couldn't figure out how to program it for certain counties, so it would go off for everything. It went off for a tornado warning in Rainsville, so I started watching out the back windows up towards Granny's house, my house, and the barn.

I can't remember what Mama was doing, but Mike was sitting on the couch playing his PSP. My dad called, and said that he and Rita were in Rainsville, trying to get to her son and his family in Sylvania. I remember him saying that it was bad, and it had just went through Sylvania when I glanced out the window. I said, "Daddy, I've gotta go, it's here."

Behind my grandmother's house was a wall of black clouds. Mom went out to the back porch to see if it was just clouds or what. Mike was behind me, waiting. I went out the door to get Mama. It was a tornado, no doubt. I tried to focus, but it was massive. I thought there were birds, in it, but when I looked again, I realized it was debris. I was holding Mama's hand, and she tried to let go, kept crying for her Mama. I asked her to come inside, telling her we needed to get in the bathtub. (Why do we always get in the bathtub? Just wondering.) She kept pulling away, trying to get to Granny. Somewhere in my heart, I knew that if she left, she'd die. I picked her up with one arm, and closed the door with the other. I screamed for Mike and he was right behind me, helping me fight Mama, struggling to keep her in the bathroom with me. I put her in the tub, and she was kneeling there. I knelt behind her, holding onto her with all I had. Mike stood just outside, leaning over me. For the next 5ish minutes, I cried and I prayed. I don't know who I prayed to, but damn did I pray. It was a litany... Oh God, please spare my family. Over and over again.

Once the wind died down, we all ran outside and got in Mom's car. When I looked up that way, I couldn't see the barn, and I began to panic. I looked further to the right, and saw my house.... and my Grandmother's house. Ahhhh. Sigh of relief. Momentarily, anyway.

As we pulled up, my cousin, Cody walked through Granny's door... OK, good, they're ok. I walk around the corner of her trailer... and there is my house. It had been picked up and moved completely off the foundation and turned sideways. I went into panic mode again, because my babies were in there. Mike, Cody, and I ran up to the house, and tried to go into the door. It wouldn't budge. The dogs were jumping up on the door, whining and crying to be let out. Cody tried to kick the door in, but that was a no-go. So, while I'm hyperventilating, Mike walks around to the other door, and it opens with ease, kind of. One of my bookcases had slid in front of the door. Once it's opened, Mike calls them to no avail. All I have to do is call their names and out the door they trot. Cody slipped through to get their food bowl and the food container.

After everything calmed down, and I settled down, we all went back to Mom's house. No power, no water. Oh man, does that suck. We went out the next day, to see the damage. Oh my god. We were so fortunate. Yes, we lost our barn and 400 chicks. Yes, my house is all kinds of jacked up. The drive in that is like... 100 yards from my house? Gone. Houses not even 1/4 mile from my house? Smashed. Completely devastating. We didn't lose a single family member. I repeat... So very fortunate.

Cody, the idiot, helped my Granny into the bathtub, put a mattress over her, and went back to watch. He said it picked up my house and then stopped, as if it had changed it's mind, and went towards the barn. Again, I say, so very, very fortunate.

I don't know what to say, to express my gratitude for everyone we didn't lose. All we lost were things and things just don't matter.

My mom asked me today... "Why were you holding on to me? Why weren't you holding on to Mike?" All I could think to say was, "He was holding me, and I held you."

My heart is with you all tonight. Everyone effected by what happened that day. Everyone who lost someone near and dear. Those who lost everything they owned. You are in my heart, now and always. You are in my thoughts daily.  So... Hold on, I'm coming.

Love to all,
Allie

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Domo Arigato...

Mr. Roboto
I went to Tae Kwon Do with my sister in law, C on Friday. Her son, M, has graduated up to a green belt. This means he's sparring now. It's so funny to watch. They can barely move in their safety gear, and they have to do their whole form and everything. Another part of their gear is a mouth piece. When they have to answer the teacher, it's "Yes, Sir."  Once the gear is on, they still have to answer, and it's " Yesh, Shur." I was cracking up the whole time.

M is 11, and one of his 1st sparring partners was a 6 year old girl. I could see the oh, crap look on both of their faces, and heard her whisper, "Please don't hurt me." It was so comical, and heartbreaking at the same time to watch. Jessica, the girl, was giving it all she had and M was just barely punching her. When you spar, you're supposed to kick, punch, and go for head shots. He never hit her harder than a light tap, and never actually tried to kick her. I know in tournament it would be different, but I was just so proud at that moment, seeing him being some form of a gentleman.

Anyway, remember how I said I miss my co-workers? Well, I was out & about one day last week and dropped in to see Brenda, the assistant manager where I worked. We chatted for a bit, and then I left. Two days later, she called me, and offered a temp position while Tabby is on maternity leave. It's kinda bittersweet. She had a beautiful baby boy.

I'm a little scared to go, to see all the people that I knew and loved and am afraid to see the pity in their eyes. Wish me luck.

Love to all,
Allie

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Where I've been.

Where the hell have I been, you ask? I swear, I have a really good reason for being M.I.A. A lot of you know that I can't have kids. I'm infertile. We have no clue as to why, just that I am. Anyway... moving on.

Around the 1st of February, Mike & I were offered the chance to adopt a baby. A friend of my cousin had gotten pregnant and absolutely did not want him. She said she wasn't ready and didn't think she could do it and go to school. We didn't have a lot of time to get ready for that. She was 3 weeks from her due date when we met. So, we spent time with her, and lawyers, and probate judges. She asked me to take her to a Dr's appointment so I could hear the heartbeat.

I don't think I slept much in those 3 weeks.... and then the day finally came. She went in to be induced. I saw him that night, and then we went home. We came back the next morning, Mike, mom, & me. We took turns holding him and taking pictures with him.

Then she dropped the bomb. She'd changed her mind. (Mothers in Alabama have 5 days to change their mind.)

God, how I cried. I'd held him, and I knew him. For the barest moment in time, I was a mother.

After we left the hospital, I begged Michael to leave me. He can have kids, and I didn't want to hold him back. I kept begging him for the first few days. All he would do is cry with me. And hold me. My mom. God love my mom. I remember she was crying and saying she was sorry. And I lashed out at her. I asked her to shut up because she'd had her kids. She had no idea at the pain I was going through.

I regret that, and am embarrassed that I acted like that. Humans do and say strange things when they are in pain.

Things are better now. Mike is working and I am not. I'm at home, getting my head straight. I just couldn't go back to work. I miss my co-workers.

Anyway, I'm sorry.

Love to all,
Allie

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Family Reunion.

I am going to tell you something that will probably make you think less of me. I hate most of Mike's family.

 I can't stand his grandmother, Peggy. She is a conniving, scheming, lying user. She can't handle the fact that my husband turns to me with problems, instead of her. When Mike explicitly told her not to bring his mother to our wedding, she did anyway. The whole time Debbie clung to Mike as a mistress instead of a mother. I have photos. I didn't say anything that day. Not that night, but a few weeks later. He was as upset as I.

His mother, Debbie, is a crack whore who left her sons in the care of friends, family, and lovers, then left them for months at a time when she was using. I remember one story of her more steady boyfriend, Larry, saving the money to buy the boys a computer for Christmas. At that time, computers were extremely expensive, and the one he'd picked out was $1500.00. One morning, Debbie took the money and left the boys with Larry. No note, no goodbye, nada.

His Uncle, Josh, is actually younger than Mike by a month. He had a wife, Sabrina, and two kids, Hunter and Haley. We were staying the week with them. Sabrina and Mike were at work, Josh and I were home with the kids. Hunter was 2, and Haley 10 months. Hunter was eating a bowl of cereal and Haley was following him around. Hunter needed to go potty, so he set the bowl down in the middle of the coffee table and took off. I went to the kitchen to get something to drink. Josh came in from smoking outside. Haley had pulled up on the coffee table, and swiped the bowl of cereal into the floor. Josh freaked out, screaming at Hunter and pulled him from the bathroom and threw him into puddle on the floor. He rubbed his nose in it like he was a puppy that had an accident. He threw a towel at him and kept screaming at him to clean up his mess. Haley was wailing so I took her to her room and gave her a few toys. I went back to the living room and at this point, Josh had Hunter up by the throat, against a wall. I stayed back and tried to reason with him, but I couldn't. So, I walked back to our bedroom and called 911. After I hung up, I heard Hunter scream, then there was a thump, and then nothing. I ran back to the living room and he was just laying there, so quiet. Josh had thrown him against the wall. At that point, the cops got there. One thing I can say for Gadsden P.D. is they respond with a quickness. Josh was taken to jail, Mike and I were given temporary custody of the kids, and Mike's family decided he needed to get me under control because apparently, it was all my fault. According to his family, you don't go to the police, family will handle it.

After that, I wasn't welcome. Mike was, just not me. So, we stayed away. Mike wouldn't go without me. That was 6 years ago. We were informed right before Christmas that his great grandmother, Emma, wasn't doing very well and that he needed to go see her. Between the recent snow and money problems, we weren't able to go until yesterday.

It was holy hell for me. I was ignored for the most part. When my presence was acknowledged, it was with snide comments about keeping Mike away for so long and why I haven't had kids yet. Why was I depriving them of grandchildren? I'm frustrated because Mike won't see it. He was too busy with seeing his niece, and cousins. They made sure their comments were out of his range of hearing. I hate sounding like I know I do.

Mike kept the visit short, because he could read my signals. He knew that I was nervous about going. Afraid of the reaction I would cause. He took me out afterwards, but that story is for another moment in time.

Love to all,
Allie

Friday, January 21, 2011

A Little Better.

Alright, so I'm over the virus. We found out that is what it was for sure. We had dinner over at Zach & Jessica's house. While we were there, I spent the majority of the time hanging with their 10 month old son, Gabriel.


Here we are, chilling, after he puked on me. And I'm talking hard-core, projectile vomit. It was so bad that I had to put on a pair of pajama bottoms that belonged to Jess. Poor girl felt so bad too. She said he'd been puking all that morning, but the pediatrician put it down to formula incompatibility since there wasn't a fever.

Strangely enough, he didn't want his mom. He wanted me. So... I held him, played with him, and rocked him to sleep. Dirty Work by Halestorm put him right out. We had the PS3 playing their audio files and that came across. I'd been singing all the others too him, so... I sang that one, too.

Zach was all, you sang Dirty Work to my son? That's so wrong on so many levels. The song is about a younger guy and an older woman. I love the song, but didn't really think about the meaning of it. Heck, I was just singing the kid to sleep. He wasn't upset, it was just, twisted.

So anyway, the night rocks on and we head home. The next night is when I got sick. Mike texted Zach, and wouldn't you know it, he and Jess are sick, too. I'm so grateful it was only a 24 hour virus. Of course, Mike got sick too. His wasn't as bad as mine, thankfully.

We are both better now. I had to work tonight, and it suuuuuucked. I have to work tomorrow night, too, and I'm sure it will suck just as hard.

Oh. It's snowing again. I'm beginning to really dislike that stuff. We're supposed to have more Monday night, I think? And some of the old-timers are prediciting a blizzard. I don't like them, either. I want the beach right now. Is it September yet?

Love to all,
Allie

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Saint Michael

Saint Michael is placed over all the angels, as prince of the Seraphim. He is the special patron of sick people, mariners, and grocers. Ain't that the truth? My Michael is a saint. Last night, we watched The Boondock Saints 1 & 2. It was the first time I'd ever seen them. I loved them. I made it through the first movie just fine, but as the second movie started, I got extremely sick.

I won't give too many details, but since 9:00 pm last night, I've thrown up more than 10 times. I've finally gotten to where I can keep liquids down. I was up all through the night, and Mike was right there with me. He held my hair back, bathed my face with a cool washcloth, and talked me through the worst night ever.

We finally went to sleep around 6:00 am this morning, and woke up at noon. I'm attempting toast right now, God knows how that will go. I've eaten 2/3 of one piece and just can't seem to force down the rest. I feel like poo and hope that things will get better. I'll let you know if I survive.

Love to All,
Allie

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Resolutions?

Hello to a new year. Did ya'll make any resolutions? I made one. Let it go. It was inspired by Cowboy Mouth and their song, Jenny Says.

I will be absolutely honest here. I have a serious issue with my temper and anger. For a really long time, I didn't care who I spewed my hate and anger to. It didn't matter to me. Over the past year, I've tried very hard to calm down, and think before I speak. I haven't mastered my anger, but I have gotten a lot better at keeping my temper in check.

Now, I'm trying to learn to let go of all the things that I let bother me. Bitter memories of things that could have went better. Embarrassing thoughts of retarded things I've done or said, and believe me, there have been some doozies.

That group, Cowboy Mouth, by the way, are pretty darn awesome. They are the first group I ever saw live. In the summer of 2004, right before Mike and I married, we went to the Schaeffer Eye Center Crawfish Boil in Birmingham. Oh. My. God.

For those of you who don't know, your girl here has a spaz attack when I'm in a crowd. It was craziness, and I loved every minute of it. That year, we saw Dexter Freebish, Cowboy Mouth, Better Than Ezra, and Sister Hazel. Dexter Freebish sucked. Cowboy Mouth give darn good shows. Better Than Ezra was ok. And Sister Hazel.... Le Sigh. I love them. It was magical, I tell you. To this day, I can remember leaning back into his arms and swaying along to Champagne High. It made me reminisce back to the days of being young and in love. So I went looking through my pictures to see what I had to share.


Look at how young we are! I can see the differences between now and then. It doesn't feel like almost seven years have past. They have flown by, and I love him more. He is definitely the yin to my yang. He keeps me steady, balanced, and supremely happy. Gee, I sure am sappy tonight, huh?

Anyway, what were your resolutions? Did you make any? Will you keep them?

Love to all,
Allie

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Where did it go?

I blinked, and it's a new year. Seriously? I swear, it seems as if the days are flying by and I don't like it at all. When I was a kid, it seems like the summer holiday lasted forever. Now, it's like two weeks and we're done. Alright, rant over. About that anyway.

Did ya'll have a good Christmas and New Year? I did. We celebrated Christmas on New Year's day at Daddy's house. We traded names this year for a present swap, and ended up helping my brother out by getting the gifts for his family too. That was a whole lot of fun. We had to buy gifts for my brother, Brandon, my step-brother, Jeffrey, my brother-in-law, Nick, and my sister-in-law, Chrystal. I barely know Jeffrey, Nick, and Chrystal, for the simple fact that we never spend any time together. Isn't that sad?

After walking around Wal-Mart for 20 minutes without a clue, we picked up bead bracelet sets for the twins, Cadie & Clara. My nephews had gotten their names. I thought about how much the girls would probably enjoy that, and that set me to thinking... shouldn't I get the adults something they'll enjoy? So over to the Lego sets. I picked up a Halo Warthog set for Brandon, he loves to put them together with his boys. While we were checking the game section, Mike picked up a poker set for Jeffrey. (Mike remembered that he'd gotten someone lottery tickets last year.) Then it was over to sporting goods for fly-fishing lures for Nick. I picked up a manicure/pedicure set for Chrystal because I had no idea what to do there. I suck at buying gifts for girls. I really do.

The dinner was really good, I spent most of it holding Jeffrey & Chrystal's son, Carter. He's so precious. It was hard for me, too. I keep thinking, I'm almost thirty, and I don't have any kids. It makes my heart ache. I keep my head up and smile, though, because really, there isn't anything else to do.

Brandon, Nick, and Jeffrey loved their gifts. Brandon and Nick were a sure thing, but Jeffrey was kinda worrying me. He told Mike that he'd been needing some playing cards, he'd had to borrow some the other night. So, happy happy joy joy there.

Mike got gift cards to Gamestop and Books-a-Million. I got a gift card to Torrid, fleece blankets, and some really lovely picture frames from my step-sister, April. She can pick out awesome girl gifts. I'm so jealous.

Afterwards, we played a game called Catch Phrase. Have you ever played that game? It was hilarious, we were playing guys against girls, and the guys won 2 out of 3 games. Only because Nick and Jeffrey were stretching it out and trying to pass it off at the last minute. I wish you could have seen Daddy. I had tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. He's never been the most descriptive person in the world, but he sure tried hard. The longer we played, the better he got.

After we left there, we went down to Brandon and Christina's house for a New Year's celebration. That however, is a story for tomorrow.

Love to all,
Allie