Family Reunion.

I am going to tell you something that will probably make you think less of me. I hate most of Mike's family.

 I can't stand his grandmother, Peggy. She is a conniving, scheming, lying user. She can't handle the fact that my husband turns to me with problems, instead of her. When Mike explicitly told her not to bring his mother to our wedding, she did anyway. The whole time Debbie clung to Mike as a mistress instead of a mother. I have photos. I didn't say anything that day. Not that night, but a few weeks later. He was as upset as I.

His mother, Debbie, is a crack whore who left her sons in the care of friends, family, and lovers, then left them for months at a time when she was using. I remember one story of her more steady boyfriend, Larry, saving the money to buy the boys a computer for Christmas. At that time, computers were extremely expensive, and the one he'd picked out was $1500.00. One morning, Debbie took the money and left the boys with Larry. No note, no goodbye, nada.

His Uncle, Josh, is actually younger than Mike by a month. He had a wife, Sabrina, and two kids, Hunter and Haley. We were staying the week with them. Sabrina and Mike were at work, Josh and I were home with the kids. Hunter was 2, and Haley 10 months. Hunter was eating a bowl of cereal and Haley was following him around. Hunter needed to go potty, so he set the bowl down in the middle of the coffee table and took off. I went to the kitchen to get something to drink. Josh came in from smoking outside. Haley had pulled up on the coffee table, and swiped the bowl of cereal into the floor. Josh freaked out, screaming at Hunter and pulled him from the bathroom and threw him into puddle on the floor. He rubbed his nose in it like he was a puppy that had an accident. He threw a towel at him and kept screaming at him to clean up his mess. Haley was wailing so I took her to her room and gave her a few toys. I went back to the living room and at this point, Josh had Hunter up by the throat, against a wall. I stayed back and tried to reason with him, but I couldn't. So, I walked back to our bedroom and called 911. After I hung up, I heard Hunter scream, then there was a thump, and then nothing. I ran back to the living room and he was just laying there, so quiet. Josh had thrown him against the wall. At that point, the cops got there. One thing I can say for Gadsden P.D. is they respond with a quickness. Josh was taken to jail, Mike and I were given temporary custody of the kids, and Mike's family decided he needed to get me under control because apparently, it was all my fault. According to his family, you don't go to the police, family will handle it.

After that, I wasn't welcome. Mike was, just not me. So, we stayed away. Mike wouldn't go without me. That was 6 years ago. We were informed right before Christmas that his great grandmother, Emma, wasn't doing very well and that he needed to go see her. Between the recent snow and money problems, we weren't able to go until yesterday.

It was holy hell for me. I was ignored for the most part. When my presence was acknowledged, it was with snide comments about keeping Mike away for so long and why I haven't had kids yet. Why was I depriving them of grandchildren? I'm frustrated because Mike won't see it. He was too busy with seeing his niece, and cousins. They made sure their comments were out of his range of hearing. I hate sounding like I know I do.

Mike kept the visit short, because he could read my signals. He knew that I was nervous about going. Afraid of the reaction I would cause. He took me out afterwards, but that story is for another moment in time.

Love to all,
Allie

A Little Better.

Alright, so I'm over the virus. We found out that is what it was for sure. We had dinner over at Zach & Jessica's house. While we were there, I spent the majority of the time hanging with their 10 month old son, Gabriel.

Here we are, chilling, after he puked on me. And I'm talking hard-core, projectile vomit. It was so bad that I had to put on a pair of pajama bottoms that belonged to Jess. Poor girl felt so bad too. She said he'd been puking all that morning, but the pediatrician put it down to formula incompatibility since there wasn't a fever.

Strangely enough, he didn't want his mom. He wanted me. So... I held him, played with him, and rocked him to sleep. Dirty Work by Halestorm put him right out. We had the PS3 playing their audio files and that came across. I'd been singing all the others too him, so... I sang that one, too.

Zach was all, you sang Dirty Work to my son? That's so wrong on so many levels. The song is about a younger guy and an older woman. I love the song, but didn't really think about the meaning of it. Heck, I was just singing the kid to sleep. He wasn't upset, it was just, twisted.

So anyway, the night rocks on and we head home. The next night is when I got sick. Mike texted Zach, and wouldn't you know it, he and Jess are sick, too. I'm so grateful it was only a 24 hour virus. Of course, Mike got sick too. His wasn't as bad as mine, thankfully.

We are both better now. I had to work tonight, and it suuuuuucked. I have to work tomorrow night, too, and I'm sure it will suck just as hard.

Oh. It's snowing again. I'm beginning to really dislike that stuff. We're supposed to have more Monday night, I think? And some of the old-timers are prediciting a blizzard. I don't like them, either. I want the beach right now. Is it September yet?

Love to all,
Allie

Saint Michael

Saint Michael is placed over all the angels, as prince of the Seraphim. He is the special patron of sick people, mariners, and grocers. Ain't that the truth? My Michael is a saint. Last night, we watched The Boondock Saints 1 & 2. It was the first time I'd ever seen them. I loved them. I made it through the first movie just fine, but as the second movie started, I got extremely sick.

I won't give too many details, but since 9:00 pm last night, I've thrown up more than 10 times. I've finally gotten to where I can keep liquids down. I was up all through the night, and Mike was right there with me. He held my hair back, bathed my face with a cool washcloth, and talked me through the worst night ever.

We finally went to sleep around 6:00 am this morning, and woke up at noon. I'm attempting toast right now, God knows how that will go. I've eaten 2/3 of one piece and just can't seem to force down the rest. I feel like poo and hope that things will get better. I'll let you know if I survive.

Love to All,
Allie

Resolutions?

Hello to a new year. Did ya'll make any resolutions? I made one. Let it go. It was inspired by Cowboy Mouth and their song, Jenny Says.

I will be absolutely honest here. I have a serious issue with my temper and anger. For a really long time, I didn't care who I spewed my hate and anger to. It didn't matter to me. Over the past year, I've tried very hard to calm down, and think before I speak. I haven't mastered my anger, but I have gotten a lot better at keeping my temper in check.

Now, I'm trying to learn to let go of all the things that I let bother me. Bitter memories of things that could have went better. Embarrassing thoughts of retarded things I've done or said, and believe me, there have been some doozies.

That group, Cowboy Mouth, by the way, are pretty darn awesome. They are the first group I ever saw live. In the summer of 2004, right before Mike and I married, we went to the Schaeffer Eye Center Crawfish Boil in Birmingham. Oh. My. God.

For those of you who don't know, your girl here has a spaz attack when I'm in a crowd. It was craziness, and I loved every minute of it. That year, we saw Dexter Freebish, Cowboy Mouth, Better Than Ezra, and Sister Hazel. Dexter Freebish sucked. Cowboy Mouth give darn good shows. Better Than Ezra was ok. And Sister Hazel.... Le Sigh. I love them. It was magical, I tell you. To this day, I can remember leaning back into his arms and swaying along to Champagne High. It made me reminisce back to the days of being young and in love. So I went looking through my pictures to see what I had to share.

Look at how young we are! I can see the differences between now and then. It doesn't feel like almost seven years have past. They have flown by, and I love him more. He is definitely the yin to my yang. He keeps me steady, balanced, and supremely happy. Gee, I sure am sappy tonight, huh?

Anyway, what were your resolutions? Did you make any? Will you keep them?

Love to all,
Allie

Where did it go?

I blinked, and it's a new year. Seriously? I swear, it seems as if the days are flying by and I don't like it at all. When I was a kid, it seems like the summer holiday lasted forever. Now, it's like two weeks and we're done. Alright, rant over. About that anyway.

Did ya'll have a good Christmas and New Year? I did. We celebrated Christmas on New Year's day at Daddy's house. We traded names this year for a present swap, and ended up helping my brother out by getting the gifts for his family too. That was a whole lot of fun. We had to buy gifts for my brother, Brandon, my step-brother, Jeffrey, my brother-in-law, Nick, and my sister-in-law, Chrystal. I barely know Jeffrey, Nick, and Chrystal, for the simple fact that we never spend any time together. Isn't that sad?

After walking around Wal-Mart for 20 minutes without a clue, we picked up bead bracelet sets for the twins, Cadie & Clara. My nephews had gotten their names. I thought about how much the girls would probably enjoy that, and that set me to thinking... shouldn't I get the adults something they'll enjoy? So over to the Lego sets. I picked up a Halo Warthog set for Brandon, he loves to put them together with his boys. While we were checking the game section, Mike picked up a poker set for Jeffrey. (Mike remembered that he'd gotten someone lottery tickets last year.) Then it was over to sporting goods for fly-fishing lures for Nick. I picked up a manicure/pedicure set for Chrystal because I had no idea what to do there. I suck at buying gifts for girls. I really do.

The dinner was really good, I spent most of it holding Jeffrey & Chrystal's son, Carter. He's so precious. It was hard for me, too. I keep thinking, I'm almost thirty, and I don't have any kids. It makes my heart ache. I keep my head up and smile, though, because really, there isn't anything else to do.

Brandon, Nick, and Jeffrey loved their gifts. Brandon and Nick were a sure thing, but Jeffrey was kinda worrying me. He told Mike that he'd been needing some playing cards, he'd had to borrow some the other night. So, happy happy joy joy there.

Mike got gift cards to Gamestop and Books-a-Million. I got a gift card to Torrid, fleece blankets, and some really lovely picture frames from my step-sister, April. She can pick out awesome girl gifts. I'm so jealous.

Afterwards, we played a game called Catch Phrase. Have you ever played that game? It was hilarious, we were playing guys against girls, and the guys won 2 out of 3 games. Only because Nick and Jeffrey were stretching it out and trying to pass it off at the last minute. I wish you could have seen Daddy. I had tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. He's never been the most descriptive person in the world, but he sure tried hard. The longer we played, the better he got.

After we left there, we went down to Brandon and Christina's house for a New Year's celebration. That however, is a story for tomorrow.

Love to all,
Allie

So Many Words, So Little Time

Hi everyone. I am gonna be all over the place with this post. I am angry and I am sad, but I'll get to that in a little while. Right now, I want to tell you what I done went and did last week.

Now, ya'll know that my husband is a truck driver. You may or may not have known that he was leasing his own truck. That can have an upside and a downside. Sometimes, the money was good, but most of the time, it sucked. In the end, we were about $5,000 in the hole with his company. And then, last Wednesday, after I read the pay statement saying he was again $741.67 in the red, I called him and said enough. I'd had enough of him being gone for 6 weeks at a time and still not making money. I'd rather be poor and together, than alone and poor anyway. So, I told him to come home.

So... He did. He made his way to Atlanta, where I had to go pick him up. Oh My God. It was crazy. An ice storm hit while we were en route. We left Henagar at 3:00 pm on Wednesday, and got home at 5:15 am on Thursday. Within 30 miles, there were 14 wrecks that the minion and I counted. Then, at around the 290 mile marker on I75 South, we came to a halt. It took us 45 minutes to crawl a whole 3 miles. The reason? A Fed Ex truck with 53 ft trailer, flipped and was hanging over a bridge. On I75 North, traffic was backed up for 5 hours, because 2 tanker trucks collided and Hazmat was called in to clear it before traffic could go through.

I myself, lost control and slid. I was extremely lucky and was able to change lanes, and slow down before getting hurt or hurting someone else. Below is a video of the I75 North traffic jam. No, I didn't take the video. Connie was in the passenger seat.

Alright, moving on. Do you remember this hot mess?  Ok, this is what I'm angry about. Chris and I had made our peace. He had apologized for what happened. We were fine. Well, apparently, a year or so ago, he made a pass at Tabby, the other night shift girl. When my boss found out about him kissing me, she had him banned from the store. Now, it seems they want to press charges against him. That is a big negative. I refuse to do so. Like I said, he and I got straight. I'm so dang angry. I see no point for him to be banned. I see no point in filing charges. I definitely don't see a point in his job being threatened. (We have customers that have charge accounts for fuel. His company fuels at our store.) Alright, there is the anger off my chest.

I end this post with sadness. My favorite customer died. I didn't know him long, but he made an impact on my life. Elder Edward Mines was a good man. He taught me that you can still be young, no matter the age of the body. He showed me that you can be nice even when in pain. He showed me that you can be a Christian without proselytizing. He often told me that I worked too hard and that I was only sweet when sleeping. I hope he finds the home that he believed in. I hope that his passing was easy and that he didn't suffer. Rest in peace, sir. I'll think of you often.

Love to All,
Allie



Craziness at the Batcave.

Has it been a full moon all week long or something? It has been craziness at work lately. It seems like everytime I turn around, something is going on.

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na... Batman!

That is what I wore to work Sunday. For the record, I am a Dark Knight fanatic. I love Batman. Adam West might be the original, but Michael Keaton is my favorite. Christian Bale comes in at a close second, simply because the movies with him are darker, harder, and of course have better graphics.

Anyway, I got all kinds of reactions to it. My favorite was this one old lady. She was probably around 70 or so, 100 lbs soaking wet, and a puff of cotton for hair. As she was leaving, she strikes a pose and says, "To the Batmobile!" I about died. Oh my god. I thought I would never stop laughing. It was great.

Is there a Flirtaholics Anonymous? If there is, I need to go. "Hi, my name is Allie, and I'm a shameless flirt." I can't help it. It is just me. Mom says I get it from Daddy. She said that it was a bone of contention between them in the early years. According to her, he swore he was just being friendly. She admits that after awhile, she could see that he didn't really mean anything, it was just his nature to be friendly and engaging.

The reason for this, is, I was molested at work. I totally brought it on myself too. My husband agrees, and he actually thought it was pretty funny. Alright, so here goes....

There is this guy named Chris. He and I have flirted with each other ever since I started my job in late July. (Definition of flirt: chat up: talk or behave amorously, without serious intentions.) We are both happily married, so I've never thought, or wanted to think, that it was going anywhere. So anyway, he was back behind the Pepsi machine and called me over. I thought something was wrong with it from his tone of voice, so I came around the counter and closed the door. Big mistake.

Chris: You have to see this!
Me: What? I don't see anything? (My hands are kind of down by my side, palms out.)
Chris: This. He grabs my hand and puts it on the front of his jeans. (He's a bold one, huh?)
Me: Holy f**k. You can't do that!

I pull my hand away and start backing away from him. I know that I was blushing and jabbering, but I wasn't exactly coherent enough to remember what I was saying. He advances toward me with the biggest grin on his face. And then....? I smack into the door. Crap. He leans down and kisses me. (Alarms are going off in my head. All I can think is the F word.) I'm pushing against him, and reaching for the door knob. After what seems like an hour, I find it. I jerk the door open and fall backwards. I slam the door shut behind me, and race around to the counter.

"Dude! You can't do that! I'm married! You're married! There are CAMERAS!" I'm blushing and he is laughing. I remember all I could really say was dude, which comes out as doo. I don't know why, maybe my accent?

Anyway, he apologized, and promised not to let it happen again. I called Mom as soon as he left. I told her the whole thing and I could hear her voice shaking with laughter. I admit. It was funny. After the fact. He's been back in since, and while we still flirt, I know he wants more. And he knows that I stand firm, faithful to my husband.

Confession time. When I met my husband, I was dating 5 other guys besides him. If I'm lying, I'm dying. There was Kev, a man 17 years my senior, to the day. To this day, I will still remember the birthday we shared, and all that he taught me. The 2 Jasons, one of which I had tried desperately to have a relationship with, but it just wasn't right. Jeremy, the Paragod, with whom I had an extremely combustible and dangerous relationship. There was Matt, the sweet, naive church going, tied to his mama's apronstrings boy.

To be honest, there are tons more than that, I just don't remember most of their names.  For a very long time in my life, I used love and sex to fill a void in me. It's not that I was addicted to sex, I just craved the attention and affection. Mike is the only man I've ever been faithful to. He's the only one who's ever made me want to be faithful, to tie myself to.

I don't regret a single thing I've ever done. Everything I've done, has made me into the person I am today. I'm not going to say that I don't look back, because we all do. I think of some of the things that I have done, and sure, I wish that I'd handled them differently. Hindsight will always be 20/20.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't regret. If you've done something you wished you hadn't, don't keep reliving the past. Stop being ashamed or embarrassed. Let it go, and move on.

Love to All,
Allie

Wait. What?

My week has been kind of insane. Work has been hectic, home has been hectic, and I've had the flu, and those are some of the easiest things I've had to handle.

My former phone. RIP

My phone decided to commit suicide on Thursday. It was a doomed relationship from the start. I had a tendency to drop it. It had a severe attraction to water. I would lose it for hours on end, growing more frantic in my searchings until I finally found it in the bottomless pit...aka my purse.

I went on a 6 week trip with Mike during the months of June and July of this year. Right before we left, I had slipped the phone into my pocket and climbed down from the truck. There was a puddle of water 4 feet away. Somehow, the phone threw itself from my pocket into the puddle. I didnt even notice it. My husband said, "Uh babe, is that your phone?" Of course I panicked. I pulled it apart with a quickness and dried it out. I left it off for several hours. I used Mike's phone to text my mom and tell her why my phone was off before she called in the Army. (That is a whole nother blog post. I'll go there later.) It was saved.

At that time, I was a housewife. I didn't have any commitments and could just pick up and go where the truck took me. After I got back, I was extremely bored and to the point of cleaning the house for FUN. Something very wrong in that. Anyway, my mom, who works at the Sylvania store, was telling me about the Rainsville store, and how much trouble they were having keeping good help. I know this sounds wrong, but the only reason I applied there is because I felt bad that they couldn't keep good people, and I was bored. Yes, there is a reason to this whole back story. I'm getting there. Patience.

So anyway, a couple months after I started there, I was doing my job and cleaning the bathroom. Yeah, you know where this is going, don't you? I had stuck my phone in my shirt pocket, not really thinking. I had *just* finished cleaning the toilet and had bent over to pick up piece of trash that was in the floor. PLOP. Oh, fan-freaking-tastic. Thank you god, it was clean. Otherwise, well, I'd have flushed it. After I got it out, I cleaned it, then laid it out to dry while I finished the rest of my chores. I left it apart for the rest of the night, calling Mom from the store phone to let her know I was incommunicado for a little while. She really hates that, by the way. And again, it was saved.

The months wore on and my phone and I were inseperable. We went everywhere together, having the best conversations, sending humor out into our little piece of the world. Then one day, my phone started acting a little funny. It would give me the cold shoulder and freeze up in the middle of texting. It would power down in the middle of phone calls. The phone became jealous, keeping me for itself, cutting me off from the outside world.

I tried to coax it into sharing me again, but to no avail. The final straw came when I was on the phone with my dear husband, shopping in Wal-Mart. It turned itself off and refused to come back on.The little punk took all my cool ringtones and awesome pictures with it too. I walked right over to the electronics department, and picked out a new one. (Yes. I'm a Verizon prepay user. It saves money, thank you very much. And I'm a cheap hooker. Just ask my husband.)

Now let me say this. I loved my phone. I could send 5 texts within 60 seconds, easily. I knew just how to work the buttons to make it putty in my hands.

The New Hotness. Name that movie!

So this.. this is my new phone. I like it, but there are reservations. It is pissing me off-fa-fa. And that comedian is? (Sorry, but I'm in a feisty mood, and I quote movies almost as much as guys do.) It's nice, don't get me wrong, but there a few kinks to be worked out. For example, I was texting with my friend Jamie and also with my friend James. Now, maybe this is user error here, but several times, when I was replying to Jamie, I would be in the middle of typing and a text from James would pop up. I'd choose view later, and finish my text. When it sent, it would send to James. What the firetruck? I don't understand. And while the qwerty keyboard is nice, it's SLOW. I'm not as fast as I was with the other phone. I'm sure I'll get used to it, and yes, I am eventually happy. I'm just whining. I'll get over it, or get used to it, one.

Alright, so for some more awesome updates. I've lost a grand total of 39.2 pounds. And as for the blog, I've had 944 page hits since 09/26/10. And of those, I've had recurring visits from France, Russia, Brazil, Croatia, German, and the United Kingdom, as well as the aforementioned Denmark, Lebanon, Canada, and of course, the United States. I've also had referral from sites that I've never heard of. In the photo below, my website has the TOP SPOT. Sorry for the screaming, but that is just amazing to me.

I'm going to bed now, I've got tons of stuff to do before the holidays are seriously upon us.

Love to All,
Allie

Pride.

This is CJ. He's the cousin that went shopping with me on Black Friday. Yesterday, he turned 18. I don't have kids, so I don't know how Uncle Tim or Aunt Tish felt, but, for me, it's crazy. I remember him as a fat, happy baby. I've changed a few of his diapers, babysat him a ton, and abused his muscles in my yearly move.

Anyway, today, CJ got the best news of his life. (Yeah, he's young, but wait, it's awesome.) He was accepted to the University of Alabama. The letter was dated for yesterday, his birthday. He said that it was the best birthday present he'd ever been given. Really though, it wasn't given to him. He earned it. He's a straight A student, a hard worker. Yes, I know. I sang his praises in my last post. Bite me. I'm overflowing with pride at the moment.

Uncle Tim called me not moments after CJ sent the text out. I was the first person he called. The very first. Do you know how special that makes me feel? I could hear the pride and love in his voice as he talked to me about CJ. He could hardly talk for choking up. And if you've ever talked to my Uncle, you know that understanding what he says when he's choked up is no easy thing. I love the man, but he talkes 90 to nothing. He's got a Southern twang that won't quit. When my husband first met him, all he could really do was smile and nod. Afterwards, he was like, "What was he saying?!" He, like everyone, has gotten used to it. They call each other pretty much daily while they're out on the road.

I don't know what yall's family is like, but mine are texting fools. We text, forward, joke with each other all day long. I got a forward asking this. Before the end of 2010, you and I should _____? So I answered back to that person, then sent it out. What did I get back from CJ? Go shopping again! I'm telling you ladies, a catch.

That's all I've got for now. I'm in the midst of changing over to a different phone. My old phone decided to commit suicide, and that just sucks. I'll tell you more about it later.

I love you CJ! I'm so very proud of who you are, and I know you will be epic greatness. Congratulations!

Love to all,
Allie

Depression and Black Friday.

Depression sucks. Majorly. I hate when I'm depressed. I know what is going on with me, but I still withdraw to the point of little interaction with human beings and only go out when I'm forced to. I don't understand why I get depressed. I know what causes it, I guess, but it still doesn't make it any easier to handle.

I miss my husband. I wish I was on the road with him now. I miss waking up beside him. I miss him being here. Hell, even the dogs miss him. (I say the word Daddy and they go off to the door, looking for him.)

Mike came home for Thanksgiving. He was in for 3 wonderful days. We had dinner at my Dad's house on Wednesday, because I had to work on Thursday. (No, I'm not complaining. It was time & 1/2. Can you blame me?) Mike went over to my Uncle Tim's house for dinner that day. When he picked me up, he had my cousin CJ with him. He's all happy... "Your Aunt Tish had brussel sprouts!" (A veggie that he and I both love.)

Anyway, we'd decided to go to the midnight sale at Wal-Mart. I had never been to one previously, and figured, why not? That's why we had CJ. To give a little background on CJ, he's days away from being 18. He's 6'7 and 235? lbs. He is the spitting image of his father. He is the most polite teenager I have ever met. Every time he sees me, he gives me a spine-cracking hug. He's one of the best people I know, really.

So, Mike is over by the video games with orders to pick up some that CJ would like, and to grab a griddle that is also on sale for Aunt Tish. (That was purely CJ's idea, btw.) CJ was with me stuck smack dab in the middle of panty and bra land because that is where they stuck the $20/500 threadcount sheets. Allie want!

So, CJ and I stroll up to the rack of sheets to check things out and it is already surrounded by some rude, older ladies, and a couple of girls my age. The older ladies took one look at CJ and automatically went on the offence. Going on and on about this is the Auburn side of the rack, you won't get any sheets, blah, blah, blah. Talking serious smack. CJ, being polite, said, "No, ma'am. We're Alabama fans." and proceeds to show her is Alabama tattoo. (Which I totally adore.) She laughs and says, "I bet if we cut him, he'd bleed crimson."  And, I love CJ for this, cause he's got the sarcasm that our family has perfected. He quips, "Ma'am, we ALL bleed crimson." Just smiling, waiting for her to get it. Greatness. That boy has it.

Things rock on, and another lady, probably in her mid to late 60's walks up and looks at the crowd and says, "Well, I doubt I get any sheets." She, another girl, CJ, and I get into a conversation about what sheets we want. I want a king size set, she needs 2 full size sets, and the other girl(Tuscaloosa girl) wants 2 queen size sets. The whole time, the old biddies up front are still talking smack and trying to covertly open the rack. Seriously?!

The associate walks up and makes them back up so she can take off the plastic wrap. And then.... it is GAME ON! CJ, with a quickness, hands me the one I want, goes back for the 2 the older lady wants, and then, hands me a queen size set. We back away from the crowd so we can see who has what. The old lady thanked us and left. I see Tuscaloosa girl (So named because that's where she lives.) and ask her if she got what she wanted.

She sighed and said, "No, I needed another queen size set." I hand her the one that CJ handed me and said, "Merry Christmas!" She smiled and hugged us both.

We were calling Mike trying to find out where he was while also trying to find the griddles. As we got closer to where they should be, We saw 2 ladies walking by, buggies piled high with griddles and crockpots. By the time we got there, the pallet was empty. I joked to CJ that he should've just ganked (thugged, thieved, stolen) one from the other ladies. He said, "Nope. If I can't get it the right way, I won't get it. Maybe I can find a decent one for Mama anyway." (I am telling ya'll, that is one good kid. Ladies, once he's out of college, he's going to be a catch. He's going for Civil Engineering. Smart, good looking, polite. Alabama fan. Some girl will be happy one of these days. :P)

After an hour, we locate Mike. Not only does he have a couple of games for CJ, he also snagged the last griddle. CJ just smiled. We paid for our things and headed for the Huddle House. Mmmm. Strawberry French Toast. Drool.

Anyway. That's the end of it. I'm sorry I've not been around for a couple of weeks. I pull into myself and don't really know how to get out of it. I'm going to try harder to be better at this. I love you all and thank you for the support.

Love to All,
Allie

Darkness

My mother, during our conversation.

Alright. So what I'm going to be talking about is domestic violence. How it starts, escalates, and how it ultimately ends. I originally started working on this project because of someone who lost her daughter to domestic violence. At this moment, that is put on the back burner. She's just not ready to talk, and I completely understand. So that leaves me with all this work, and nothing to run with. Or does it?

A lot of people sweep this issue under the rug. It doesn't happen because they aren't personally involved. Maybe it does happen to them, but they are too scared, or don't know how to speak up. Some block it out because they don't want to remember it.

Well, this blog is about me, so... I guess this is where I step up to the plate. I grew up in a domestic violence situation. In my mother's own words, they were volatile. I remember hurtful words, broken dishes, busted walls, and shattered windshields. I will say this for my parents, they never hit each other in front of us. It was mostly a verbal thing.

So, I went shopping. I bought a voice recorder. And then... I sat down with Mama, Daddy, and my brother B individually, and recorded our conversations. It dang near killed me. It was so emotionally charged. It was so hard to hear things from Mama about Daddy, and to hear things from Dad about Mom. It was pretty easy to talk to B. He's like me, he remembered the screaming, harsh words, and shattered windshields. Like me, he also remembers that they never hit each other in front of us.

Let me just pause here to clarify my relationships with my family. Mama is my very best friend. She has been since my first breath. I've always been my Daddy's girl. I've had conversations with them that most people don't have with their parents. I know things about their relationship and them that very few do.

I started out with Mama. The first question I asked her was, "How did you meet Dad?" She told me about the fact that she and Dad's sister Pat were best friends, and they had met through her. "How did he ask you to marry him?" She couldn't quite remember the wording, but, she remembers it went to the effect of, "I love you, and I want to marry you and the kid." (My brother B, is technically my half brother. He was born in December of 1978 and my parents were married in February of 1979.)

"Who threw the first punch?" That was one of the hardest questions to ask. We talked about how often they fought. It wasn't a daily thing. It wasn't an all the time thing. Their verbal altercations didn't always turn physical. I remember one point in the conversation, Mama told me, "Your Daddy is not a monster." At that moment, I couldn't agree with her.

How can you sit there and tell me that someone who had locked her in the closet, left bruises on her, and shattered a baby's glass bottle against the wall, is not a monster? I asked her that question. She said, "We were monsters together. We were toxic to each other. Twisted and wrong. I antagonized him so much. I couldn't let him walk away." And that made me look at her in a whole new light.

I walked away from that conversation shaken and sick. Hearing those words about my father... it didn't break me, but it hurt. I had a hard time sleeping last night.

I talked to Daddy today. I had to. If I was going to do this right, I had to include his thoughts and memories. I sat him down and told him that I was planning a piece on domestic violence, and that it was going to be about our family. Dad was a little defensive to start with. I think he was afraid that I put the blame solely on him. After I explained that Mama accepted her share of the blame, that she admitted to antagonizing him, he opened up more.

He admitted to locking Mama in a closet. I'm not telling the story that led up to it, but the gist is, they were fighting, and he was trying to walk away, but she wouldn't let him. He was extremely upset. She stayed in his face, so he put her in the closet. "I couldn't make her leave me alone, so I put her in the closet. I sat down against the door so she couldn't get out, and I cried. I cried because of what she'd done to me." I'm not condoning what he did, and there is absolutely no excuse for hurting someone else, but after hearing what he said, I understand.

I closed the conversations by asking them, "What is your favorite memory from being married to each other?" Strangely enough, both of their memories revolve around me.

Dad's favorite memory was when B was standing up in his crib and was looking at the corner of the ceiling and said, "You're not gonna take my Daddy from me." About a month later, they found out Mama was pregnant with me.

Mama's favorite memory is when she was delivering me, Dad was standing by her side. The doctor looked up and said, "There's the head." Dad looked up and said, "What is it?" Mom says the doctor kinda smirked and said, "It's a head, I'm not sure yet." When I was finally out, the doctor looked up and said, "It's a girl." Mom said that Daddy got this look of wonder on his face and was jumping up and down and yelling, "We did it! We had a girl!"

My parents divorced in 1994. Mom remarried 3 months later to a man named Greg. Along with him, I got my awesome stepbrother D and my best girl Mamy. Greg died in 1996 in a motorcycle accident. Dad remarried in 1999 to a woman named Jeanne. They divorced not even 2 years later due to the fact that they were total opposites. Mom remarried again in2006 to Mike. (We have 18 million Mike's in my family. It's tons of fun during the holidays.) I got 2 more step siblings that are pretty good. Daddy remarried in April of last year to a lady named Rita. And now, 2 more steps. All in all, I have 4 brothers, and 3 sisters. To me, half and step don't really count. Family is all that matters.

Some days I wish my parents were still together. I know that will never happen. That saying... You can't go home, I think it pertains to this. Wanting to be a child again, being tucked in by your parents, kissed and loved, knowing the monsters aren't under the bed. They are happy. They are at least cordial, if not down right friendly at family functions that bring them together.

And now... me. I am emotionally drained. As I wrote this post, I listened to the conversations I had with Mama, Dad, and B over and over again. In some ways, I wish I could figure out how to post them on here, but then again, I'm afraid some people would hear them and think horrible things about my parents.

They were young, kids really, when they got married. They were learning together, how to be the grown ups. There were several stressors in their life. Two children at an early age, very little money, and not really sure what they were doing. They've grown into wonderful people. My mother is my role model, along with my dad. I look at them and see the strongest people in the world. I love them, and I am extremely grateful to them.

Domestic violence isn't something that can be swept under the rug. It will not go away if you ignore it. Mom & Dad were both lucky that it never turned deadly, because it can. This isn't the last I'll be talking about this.

If you or someone you know is in a violent situation, please, please, please. Get help. It is hard to walk away from all you've ever known, but you can. 1-800-799-SAFE(7233) or http://www.thehotline.org/

You may be asking... Allie, why are you posting your details? Well, if all the gory details that come out save 1 life, it's worth it. If one person reads this and gets out, it doesn't matter what I go through.

Love to all,
Allie

Blogs and Religion.

I read. Alot. Not just books. Magazines. Forums online. And blogs. Several blogs. At the moment, I'm following 5 blogs religiously.

One of my favorite blogs is by Ree Drummond. You may know her better as The Pioneer Woman. I don't know her, but I love her. She's fantastically funny, an amazing cook and as far as I can tell, she seems to be a wonderful person. She's one of the reasons I finally sucked it up and started my own blog. She owns who she is, what she's about, and her flaws.

Another is Our Best Bites. This site is ran by Sara and Kate. They have some seriously insane recipes there. It is a temptation that a fat girl like myself does not need. They are very down to earth and easy to relate to. Apparently, all bloggers are clumsy in the kitchen.

Then there is The Other Ryan. I learned about him through The Pioneer Woman. Dude has skills. I'm talking serious culinary skills. And some amazing tats and piercings. And he's hawt. Yeah, I know. That seems wrong on so many levels, calling a pastor hawt. Oh wait. I didn't tell you he's a pastor? Why yes. Yes he is. Amazing right? The only pastors/preachers I've had contact with were all very old. And strict. And not very accepting of individuality. (I know this is tripping my dad out right now. That his daughter follows a religious blog... well, religiously.)

That leads me to the topic of religion. Maybe it's because it is Sunday. Maybe because most of the bloggers I follow are religious in some way and they've posted something religious lately. Whatever it is, today I feel... spiritual. I have a hard time defining my religion. I was raised Southern Baptist. Mike was raised Catholic. (Insert funny priest/alter boy joke here.) I never really agreed with Southern Baptist. Or Christianity really. Or maybe it's the Bible.

I just find it hard to belive that God doesn't agree with things He created. There are so many things you can't do, according to the Bible.

A few I agree with. Some, not so much. Honor your mother and father? I get that. Mom had you. They both fed you, clothed you, and took care of you. (Hopefully, anyway. If your parents weren't Teh Awesome like mine, I'm sorry.) No stealing? I get that too. If you didn't earn it, don't touch it. No killing? Yup, I'm totally down with that one.

Somethings I don't agree with. You shall have no other gods before me. Hmmm. I'm not so cool with this one actually. My personal opinion is that everyone has the right to choose the right religion for themselves.

Or what about this one? "Observe the sabbath day and keep it holy, as the LORD your God commanded you. Six days you shall labor and do all your work. But the seventh day is a sabbath to the LORD your God; you shall not do any work—you, or your son or your daughter, or your male or female slave, or your ox or your donkey, or any of your livestock, or the resident alien in your towns, so that your male and female slave may rest as well as you. Remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt, and the LORD your God brought you out from there with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm; therefore the LORD your God commanded you to keep the sabbath day." How do we pick which day is holy? How do we know it should be Sunday? And what is up with the slave thing? Weren't all people created equal in the eyes of God? Why didn't he say way back then - "Hey! Knock that off! You don't own that person."? We wouldn't have half the drama we do today about slavery.

And this is one that really throws me. "Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable." Why? God created homosexuals. According to the Bible, God created everything. So why did he create it, if He didn't want it?

I know that several people will tell me, don't question God. Well too bad. I question Him because of the flawed world He created. Kids that die young? Cancer? Pedophiles? Bigots? Why create these things? They aren't necessary. These evil things are not from Satan. God created them. He also created Satan. Again, if He didn't want these things in this world, why create them?

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. This is in the Bible. Why does God not hold himself accountable to this as well?

I know I'm going to get flamed for this, but, this is what's on my mind. All I ask for is respect. These are my beliefs. I'm not saying there is a God, or there is not a God. I won't know that until I'm dead or Jesus really does come back.

Please. Whatever your belief is, be tolerant and respectful of others beliefs.

Love to all
Allie

Work = Blog.

I'm so tired. Isn't that sad? I went in at 11:30 this morning then closed up at 9:30 tonight. In between being slammed and cleaning up, I decided I needed to blog about work. After all, it is part of my life. This post is going to be a bit random. Back and forth but hey, that's me.

Let me start out by saying this... I love my job. Really, I do. I meet new people every day and have several customers that are my favorites. Yes, I admit it. I have favorites.

 Ryan, of course. There is an older gentleman, he reminds me of my Papa Bill. All he wants is a Copenhagen snuff. And then he tells me I'm only sweet when I'm asleep. There's a guy Mom & I both know. We refer to him as Hot Guy. He's entirely too good looking, very sweet, and smells incredibly yummy. There's the lesbian. She flirts shamelessly, even though she knows I am married. Then my junkie. He calls me his dealer. He comes in daily, I believe, to buy at least 1 of the 32 oz. Rockstar energy drinks. (Yuck. For the record, I've not met an energy drink I like.) He's pretty funny. He came in today and told me he was working his way through my blog. He says it's funny. I've heard that a time or two, but I still don't believe it.

Kids. I have a love/hate relationship with them. Most of the time, kids are sweet, cute, and funny. When do I not like them? When their parents aren't making them behaving. Or when they go in the bathroom alone. That scares me. No, I don't want them to make a mess, but I also don't want them to accidentally lock themselves in. Also, when parents send their small children in to pay for gas, I worry because people speed through the parking lot.

Teenagers. Again with the love/hate thing. Sometimes they are funny. Sometimes they are rude. And sometimes they are sweet. I saw a couple standing on the sidewalk sneaking kisses. I'm not sure why they were sneaking kisses, but it was so sweet.

Teenagers lead me to underage tobacco buyers. I don't know how many times I've actually had them show me their id's and knowingly be underage. They kill me. Thinking that a sure smile and confident attitude will get what they want.

And that brings us to... alcohol. How many times have I heard, "No beer? What the?!" Yes, I know, hard to believe, but it's the truth. I hear it like this too. "No  cerveza? Por que?" And yeah, it may be mean, but I just stare blankly at them. (Again, yes, it is mean, but I think if you live here, you should speak the language. That's my opinion.)

Men. Generally speaking, most of them are pretty cool. There are some weird ones. Some rude ones. And some extremely perverted ones. Another of my opinions? Man hands should be rough and calloused. Not all soft and manicured. My favorite guys, (other than the ones listed above, I mean.) are the police officers.

Police officers are so much fun to mess around with. I was on the phone with Mike one day and Patrolman Wigley came in. I said, "Honey, I've gotta go. They're here to arrest me." Mike is all spazzing out and I hang up on him. The officer is shaking with laughter, and Mike calls back. I give Wigley the phone and he answers. "Hello? No, sorry. She's in handcuffs right now." I'm not sure exactly how he pulled that off, because he was trying the entire time not to bust out laughing. Ah, I love to prank my husband. I'm always thinking of something to pull over on him.

I think I'm the equivialent of a bartender. You know how everyone tells their bartender their troubles? I hear everything. Health problems. Their take on religion and politics, which I don't discuss at work. Does anyone out their like Baja Blast Mountain Dew? Supposedly if you mix regular Mountain Dew and Sierra Mist, that's what you get. Someone let me know.

Anyway, I'm bout to pass out. Really quick though, M got his orange belt! Way to go Monkeybutt!

I think he has Auntie A's problem with blinking at the most inoppurtune times.

Love to all,
Allie

What I Done Went and Did Yesterday.

So yesterday. It started out on the right track. I got up, got ready and took my husband to his truck. Sent him out with a kiss and held back the tears until he was gone. You don't cry, cause it just makes it harder on him. It's hard enough for him to let go as it is. If I cry, he'll cry and hold me a little longer cause that's how he is.

After I dropped him off, Mom and I went to pick up my sister-in-law C and take her and the boys to Centre. M was testing for his orange belt in Tae Kwon Do.

This is M breaking his board. He's the 3rd from the back. His teacher, Mr. Mendoza is holding the board. I'm not sure who the first boy is, but the one who didn't break it is also from M's class. I was so worried about him breaking it because you only get 3 tries and you lose points for each extra try you use. As you see, I worried for nothing. He broke his board on the 1st try. It was such a loud snap. I was so proud. Mr. Mendoza came and took over Austin's board. You can hear me cheering for him towards the end. It isn't about one being better than the other. Sure, my nephew is my first priority, but I want them all to pass. He broke it on his last try. Yay, Austin!

He's so smug.

Look at how thick that was.

After that, I was supposed to go spend the weekend at a friends' house, but she got sick, so... I was stuck at home. Or was I? My friend Ryan had invited me to go to Buenavista in Scottsboro with him to listen to his friend, Austin Jennings, play live. So I called him up to see if I was still invited. I was, and he was ecstatic? I believe that is the right word.

We had so much fun last night. I had 2 margaritas. Ryan had 1, half a beer, and a "sup" as he called it, of vodka and redbull. Add in really yummy food and the hilarity of Ryan doing his youtube posts throughout the evening and you can understand how I feel so lucky to have him in my life. That was his first taste of alcohol by the way. Minion # 2?

So anyway, in my tipsy state, I allowed Ryan to video and post me singing along to The Way You Are by Bruno Mars. I love that song. Mike will call and sing it to me sometimes. I was singing that to Ryan last night because he sang Come On Get Higher by Matt Nathanson to me. That video is also on youtube. I'm only linking the one of me singing. A Gay At The Bar Part 4 Yes. The series was called A Gay At The Bar. There are 8 parts in all.

No. I am not drunk. I blinked. I swear.

We all made it safely home and to our respective beds. I was worried last night. What was I thinking, singing on camera and then putting it on youtube? I thought I'd look like an idiot. Well that may be true, but... I look like an idiot who had an absolute blast with her best friend. In the morning light, with absolutely no hangover, I might mention...I don't regret a thing I did. As a matter of fact, we've made plans to do it again the next weekend I'm off and Austin is playing. Or someone else we want to hear. Austin is really good by the way. He did a cover of Beyonce's Sweet Dreams. After I got over the initial shock, it was pretty good.

Alright. I'm gonna go. I have dishes to do and laundry to finish. Back to my normal everyday routine. For now.

Love to All,
Allie.

Nanoseconds.

Mike is home for a whole ten hours. In otherwords, a nanosecond. I'm not sure how much ya'll know about truck driving, or what their schedules are like. I will explain, to the best of my ability. Say a driver starts at 8:00 am. He can drive for a total of 11 hours, withing a 14 hour period. After that 11/14 hour clock is up, he must be in his sleeper berth for 10 hours. It sounds compilicated, but it's not. So anyway, he's on his way through from Virgina to Texas and it routed him right by the house. He was able to time it so he spends the night here. I've been so happy all day. I'm so glad to have him home. Even if it's only for 10 hours. Guess who else is happy to have him home? The demon dogs.

I love this picture of them. They loved on him for a very long time. They've missed their daddy. I like this in the black and white. Mike prefers the color. What do you think?

Alright. Mike's out of the shower. I'm gonna go spend some time with him while I can.

Love to All,
Allie